The Top 10 Rights You Donít Have

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach


1.To have your needs met.

No matter how legitimate you feel they are, or how obligated you feelrepparttar other party is to you, it isnít a requirement, and sometimes isnít even possible. Learn to meet your own needs!

2.To feel good about everything allrepparttar 126134 time.

You can survive negative emotions (they donít last long), and taking your emotional temperature allrepparttar 126135 time is counter-productive.

3.To berepparttar 126136 center ofrepparttar 126137 universe.

There are always other people, and other wills to consider. Be willing to berepparttar 126138 trailer sometimes, notrepparttar 126139 main attraction. It isnít always about you.

4.To have your expectations met.

The lower your expectations, in fact,repparttar 126140 better youíre likely to feel, because then you can only be happily surprised. Deal with intention, not expectations. How you intend to be, and act; not how you expect things to be, or others to act. You can experience great joy planning a trip. When it doesnít live up to your expectations, be glad you hadrepparttar 126141 planning process! As Eisenhauer (US president) said, planning is useless, but necessary.

5.To dish out what you donít want to get back.

Self-fulfilling prophecies are all too often true. If youíre bitter and cynical and expectrepparttar 126142 worst, thatís likely what youíre going to get. If you expectrepparttar 126143 best from others, thatís also what youíre likely to get.

6.Justice.

Yes, itís supposedly one of your inalienable rights, but thatís not always what youíll get in real life. Bad things do happen to good people. However, quite often if you look back on events, you will see they worked out forrepparttar 126144 best inrepparttar 126145 long run. While life is not always fair, there is a sort of rough justice out there. It takes perspective, however Ö

Distinction: Adjusting vs. Adapting

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach & Consultant


Definitions

Adjusting - A few tweaks and you're on your way. Minor changes to accommodate to minor changes, while most of your life and circumstances remainrepparttar same.

Adapting - Something major has happened, and you won't be able to survive unless you make major changes within yourself, and across most areas of your life.

Comparisons

When your teenager goes off to college v. when your teenager dies

When your department changes v. when your company endures a hostile takeover

When your husband takes up fitness and moves a treadmill intorepparttar 126133 living room v. when your husband takes a mistress and moves her into your place atrepparttar 126134 lake

Example

ADJUSTING: A chameleon adjusts. When it finds itself on a green leaf, it turns green. When it moves to a brown twig, it turns brown. It's a minor adjustment, changingrepparttar 126135 color of its skin.

ADAPTING: A tadpole adapts. In order to be able to live on dry land, it must lose its tail and gills, grow legs and start using lungs. It must learn to breathe air, not water.

ADJUSTING: Mary had an adjustment to make. She had moved across town. She had to learn a new route to work, meet some new neighbors, familiarize herself withrepparttar 126136 location of hospitals, grocery stores and gas stations, and get used to an electric stove instead of a gas stove.

ADAPTING: Letitia moved fromrepparttar 126137 US to Russia. She had to learn a new culture and a new language.

ADJUSTMENT REQUIRED: Ben got a divorce. Though he had not been dating her, he had fallen back in love with his high school sweetheart. When he divorced, he started dating his sweetheart, remained inrepparttar 126138 same home, had custody of his two children, keptrepparttar 126139 same job,repparttar 126140 place atrepparttar 126141 lake, and maintained his strong network of friendships.

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