Individual indigenious groups have more specific information and ritual. I don't represent myself as any kind of authority of Native ways -- that is work of Elders within each of Native Peoples -- but only share value I've received thru use of this communication tool.

First, there must be total agreement between two parties that, when The Talking Stick is present, rules of ritual will be honored by both. The rules are simple.

When one wishes to be allowed to speak fully, freely, and without interruption, they pick up The Talking Stick. While it is being held, other person listens ONLY. The other person doesn't interrupt or insert. The other person attempts, to best of their ability, not to interject vocal, or even physical responses to what is being shared but to ONLY listen with an open and unjudgmental ear. When one who is talking is finished, The Talking Stick is laid down and other person then has opportunity to pick up Stick and to speak openly and freely.

One of great values of this tool, from my own perspective and experience, is that you may begin to realize how much of what you started to say was only reaction. By time stick is passed to you, something has shifted. In waiting, there has been a change.

1. Get complete with your past to break relationship patterns.

When you no longer carry "baggage" about your past relationships and your childhood, you are emotionally free to be in your ideal relationship. When you're emotionally free, you are better able to:

* recognize partners who are incompatible with you before you get involved; * naturally attract more suitable partners; * stop trying to resolve issues from old relationships in your current one; * transform all of your relationships to be clear and satisfying.

If you're ready to get complete with your past, take my free PatternTracker Quiz at http://www.whatittakes.com/Quiz2/patterntracker.html. The quiz will help you identify and understand your patterns, making it less likely that you'll repeat them in future.

2. Ask for what you want in any relationship.

It is a myth that people should know what you want. When you are able to ask for what you want, you become easier to be with, easier to delight, and therefore much more attractive. People see you as clear and straight-forward.

To learn how to ask for want you want in your relationships, read my article, "Ask Right and You May Receive," http://www.whatittakes.com/Archive/Newsletter40to49/newsletter__42.shtml.

3. The more you want a relationship, have a laundry list, a timetable for when it should occur, less likely you are to have it.

The only way to attract a fulfilling relationship is to have a fulfilling life. You get to have a fulfilling life with or without a partner, while becoming naturally attractive. When you are attractive in this way, you no longer need to look for your ideal partner - you will automatically attract him or her.