The Six-Year-Old Truck Driver

Written by Janette Blackwell

When he was six my little brother Davie graduated from driving toy trucks to drivingrepparttar real thing. He persuaded Daddy to let him driverepparttar 148910 truck -- alone -- acrossrepparttar 148911 fields of our Montana farm and aroundrepparttar 148912 farmyard. Davie knew all about truck driving by then. He had seldom missed a movement Daddy or Grandpa made while driving.

It was an eerie sight watching Davie drive that truck, because you couldn't see him. It appearedrepparttar 148913 truck was driving itself. Then you'd locaterepparttar 148914 top six inches of his little blond head aboverepparttar 148915 dashboard, eyes peering intently ahead. In those days he didn't drive in a seated position: he drove with his tiny bottom just brushingrepparttar 148916 edge ofrepparttar 148917 seat, while his feet grasped forrepparttar 148918 pedals and his neck strained to keep his eyes aboverepparttar 148919 dashboard. He drove well, putting his whole body and mind into it. In fact, he drove so well that inrepparttar 148920 fall he was allowed to driverepparttar 148921 truck, full of wheat, overrepparttar 148922 farm fields to our granary inrepparttar 148923 barn.

That day he glowed with happiness.

When he was eight, he was permitted to driverepparttar 148924 family car IN THE DRIVEWAY. He would spend entire Sunday afternoons doing so. He'd backrepparttar 148925 car torepparttar 148926 end ofrepparttar 148927 driveway, stop, change gears, driverepparttar 148928 car forward forty feet torepparttar 148929 garage, stop, change gears, backrepparttar 148930 car torepparttar 148931 end ofrepparttar 148932 driveway, stop, change gears. . . .


Written by Aphrodite Beamish

Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.


-- Or, what women of a certain age should DO and SAY to have some fun! --

According to Webster, (a wicked if not witless wordsmith), a “granny” is “a fussy person”.

Clearly, “granny” ranks right up there with allrepparttar other pejorative terms used to describe women of a certain age as “a hag”, “a harridan” or just “a handful”. With few endearing qualities or redeeming features, it’s not surprising that there are so many unpleasant things associated with “grannies”. Just take a look.

There is something calledrepparttar 148909 “granny knot” (responsible for tying up folks far too long in their twisted knickers). Then there'srepparttar 148910 infamous “granny dress” (a long sack worn by those whose boobs have fallen byrepparttar 148911 wayside, whose hips ressemble those of a heffalump, or whose flat feet now fit nicely into army boots). And last but not least, there'srepparttar 148912 god-awful “granny suite” (a quaint place where offspring lodge their mother becauserepparttar 148913 dog-house is already occupied).

Forrepparttar 148914 benefit of those “freedom-fifty females” out there who do not want to sit in a rocking chair, knit wooly hats, and listen to crooners from days gone by – toss your grumps, groans and gripes. It’s time to gird your luscious loins, grab your giddy-up-and-go attitude, and give your gorgeous gutsy head a shake!

Here’s your list of top ten things to do to become a “flamboyant fickle floozie”, a “happy hook-line-and sinker”, or a “tantalizing tart with a heart”:

1. Buy a boa (the biggerrepparttar 148915 better andrepparttar 148916 most colorful one onrepparttar 148917 rack, because this one has your name on it ...“Burlesque Babe”, "Buxom Baroness" or "Blue-Movie Queen"!)

2. Borrowrepparttar 148918 most erotic novel you can find inrepparttar 148919 library (then you know it’s passedrepparttar 148920 censure’s test in caserepparttar 148921 kids ask – and carry it conspicuously everywhere you go – it’ll be a great ice-breaker and hot conversation piece at any capricious cafe or captivating cocktail party!)

3. Beguile a child to lend you a sparkly magic wand and tiara, plus one rubber toad (these are “must have” ingredients for turning nice young men with tight buns into Princes at midnight; they’re also a visible reminder to nasty nitwits of what’s in store for them if they so much as think a naughty thought or talk back torepparttar 148922 Queen of Quips, Quirks & Quidnuncs!)

Cont'd on page 2 ==> © 2005
Terms of Use