It was an eerie sight watching Davie drive that truck, because you couldn't see him. It appeared truck was driving itself. Then you'd locate top six inches of his little blond head above dashboard, eyes peering intently ahead. In those days he didn't drive in a seated position: he drove with his tiny bottom just brushing edge of seat, while his feet grasped for pedals and his neck strained to keep his eyes above dashboard. He drove well, putting his whole body and mind into it. In fact, he drove so well that in fall he was allowed to drive truck, full of wheat, over farm fields to our granary in barn.

That day he glowed with happiness.

THINGS GRANNIES SHOULD NEVER DO OR SAY

-- Or, what women of a certain age should DO and SAY to have some fun! --

According to Webster, (a wicked if not witless wordsmith), a “granny” is “a fussy person”.

Clearly, “granny” ranks right up there with all other pejorative terms used to describe women of a certain age as “a hag”, “a harridan” or just “a handful”. With few endearing qualities or redeeming features, it’s not surprising that there are so many unpleasant things associated with “grannies”. Just take a look.

There is something called “granny knot” (responsible for tying up folks far too long in their twisted knickers). Then there's infamous “granny dress” (a long sack worn by those whose boobs have fallen by wayside, whose hips ressemble those of a heffalump, or whose flat feet now fit nicely into army boots). And last but not least, there's god-awful “granny suite” (a quaint place where offspring lodge their mother because dog-house is already occupied).

For benefit of those “freedom-fifty females” out there who do not want to sit in a rocking chair, knit wooly hats, and listen to crooners from days gone by – toss your grumps, groans and gripes. It’s time to gird your luscious loins, grab your giddy-up-and-go attitude, and give your gorgeous gutsy head a shake!

Here’s your list of top ten things to do to become a “flamboyant fickle floozie”, a “happy hook-line-and sinker”, or a “tantalizing tart with a heart”:

1. Buy a boa (the bigger better and most colorful one on rack, because this one has your name on it ...“Burlesque Babe”, "Buxom Baroness" or "Blue-Movie Queen"!)

2. Borrow most erotic novel you can find in library (then you know it’s passed censure’s test in case kids ask – and carry it conspicuously everywhere you go – it’ll be a great ice-breaker and hot conversation piece at any capricious cafe or captivating cocktail party!)