Most marriage failures are courtship failures -- PAUL H. LANDIS 

And thats true. A good courtship makes a good marriage. But problem is that some do not even know purpose of courtship, and when to begin it.

Most courtships are no less than crushes -- an infatuated love for a favorite teacher, pop star or some other celeb. And this starts earlier in girls than in boys.

These daydreamers, however, end up sick and depressed. Because truth is that they may never get to meet such one in person, all their life. Even when they do, there is little chance that love they crave for such idols will be returned. In most cases those idols are not even aware of your love.

So be real about your date. And this would involve asking yourself some personal questions that will help you to find out if you are not deceiving yourself. These questions are: How well do I really know this person? Am I blinded to his personal flaws? Is person perfect? Have I fallen in love with an image? Would I ever get to meet this person in my life?

If answers you get make you think that you are on wrong road, put your automobile in reverse, fast. Do things that will keep you busy. Stop romanticizing. Seek help from your parents, or friends.

Then someday, you will find real love, and your right date. But before you start seeing each other, you have to be warned of dark side of dating.

The Dangers of Dating

Do not date for fun. Dating should start when you are ready for marriage. In fact it is part of process of getting right marriage mate.

Teenagers and others who dated for fun of it, have ended up committing sexual immorality before knowing it. It normally starts with holding hands, an innocent kiss, then fondling with intimate body parts, and finally, sex.

Then one day relationship breaks up, leaving couples to suffer emotional trauma. Some end up in hospital beds, or psychiatric homes, some commit abortions while others commit suicide. Others live for life with a wounded conscience. Would you want that to happen to you? Of course not.

Dating itself is not wrong. But it is wrong to date for wrong reason. The following questions will help you to have a successful courtship.

Why am I dating?

It is okay if you are dating with marriage in view. But it is wrong when you are just flirting around with a member of opposite sex, just to get attention.

Would dating help me to grow emotionally?

Limiting yourself to be boy-girl relationship will hinder your social and emotional development. This will help your maturity and better prepare you to select a mate.

 How do you tell legitimate hope from unfounded hope? By looking carefully at facts. -- DR. HOWARD HALPERN  .

If you were asked to mention qualities you want in a mate, no doubt you will list all wonderful human qualities on earth. Perhaps you will not forget to mention that you will like your mate to be loving and caring. Well, that is good.

But you start wrong way. You should have started by asking yourself if you possesses those angelic qualities in your master list. For example, ask yourself: Am I loving and caring?

You see, everyone looks for different qualities in a mate. For instance, what appeals to me, may not appeal to you. No wonder it is said that what is one mans meat is another mans poison.

This reminds me of one beautiful lady who loved Socrates Greek philosopher for his intelligence, and asked for his hand in marriage. She reasoned that they would make excellent children. Because their children would combine her beauty with Socrates intelligence.

But beautiful lady, a dullard who could not add one and one, forgot something which ugly Socrates reminded her. What if our children combine your empty brain with my ugly face? he asked. And that ended it.

So, it means that we should look for a rounded mate. One quality alone is not enough. And we too should posses qualities that our mate should look at and admire. But what questions should you first ask yourself?

Am I willing to make a life long commitment to my partner? Matthew 19: 6

You dont marry today with view to divorcing tomorrow, if things dont go your way. Marriage is a life long commitment. God hates those who abandon their mates. -- Malachi 2: 13-16.

Am I now physically mature to make sound judgment? -- 1 Corinthians 7: 36

Picture teenage couples in a matrimonial wedlock. These ones are still going through changes in their life. Lack of any life experience, coupled with strong sexual desires incidental to their age, will distort their thinking and judgment.

Do I have traits that will help me to contribute to a successful marriage? -- Galatians 5: 22, 23.

You should try to cultivate those qualities that you want of your marriage mate. Compatibility is word. But know that even twins are not exactly identical. So dont even think of marrying a relative in order to make best out of marriage. And dont think you can change anyone. That is wishful thinking. Try changing yourself first!

Do I have maturity to support a male in difficult times? -- Galatians 6: 2.

It is not time to play blame game when problems arise. You will agree that we live in difficult times, and this calls for maturity in handling issues. That is why you are two. -- Ecclesiastes 4: 9, 10.

Am I a cheerful and optimistic person? -- Proverbs 15: 15