The Secret Of Success In Courtship And Marriage, Sex And Happiness. (Part 3)

Written by Arthur Zulu


 How do you tell legitimate hope from unfounded hope? By looking carefully atrepparttar facts. -- DR. HOWARD HALPERN  .

If you were asked to mentionrepparttar 111458 qualities you want in a mate, no doubt you will list allrepparttar 111459 wonderful human qualities on earth. Perhaps you will not forget to mention that you will like your mate to be loving and caring. Well, that is good.

But you startrepparttar 111460 wrong way. You should have started by asking yourself if you possesses those angelic qualities in your master list. For example, ask yourself: Am I loving and caring?

You see, everyone looks for different qualities in a mate. For instance, what appeals to me, may not appeal to you. No wonder it is said that what is one mans meat is another mans poison.

This reminds me of one beautiful lady who loved Socratesrepparttar 111461 Greek philosopher for his intelligence, and asked for his hand in marriage. She reasoned that they would make excellent children. Because their children would combine her beauty with Socrates intelligence.

Butrepparttar 111462 beautiful lady, a dullard who could not add one and one, forgot something whichrepparttar 111463 ugly Socrates reminded her. What if our children combine your empty brain with my ugly face? he asked. And that ended it.

So, it means that we should look for a rounded mate. One quality alone is not enough. And we too should posses qualities that our mate should look at and admire. But what questions should you first ask yourself?

Am I willing to make a life long commitment to my partner? Matthew 19: 6

You dont marry today withrepparttar 111464 view to divorcing tomorrow, if things dont go your way. Marriage is a life long commitment. God hates those who abandon their mates. -- Malachi 2: 13-16.

Am I now physically mature to make sound judgment? -- 1 Corinthians 7: 36

Picture teenage couples in a matrimonial wedlock. These ones are still going through changes in their life. Lack of any life experience, coupled withrepparttar 111465 strong sexual desires incidental to their age, will distort their thinking and judgment.

Do I have traits that will help me to contribute to a successful marriage? -- Galatians 5: 22, 23.

You should try to cultivate those qualities that you want of your marriage mate. Compatibility isrepparttar 111466 word. But know that even twins are not exactly identical. So dont even think of marrying a relative in order to makerepparttar 111467 best out of marriage. And dont think you can change anyone. That is wishful thinking. Try changing yourself first!

Do I haverepparttar 111468 maturity to support a male in difficult times? -- Galatians 6: 2.

It is notrepparttar 111469 time to playrepparttar 111470 blame game when problems arise. You will agree that we live in difficult times, and this calls for maturity in handling issues. That is why you are two. -- Ecclesiastes 4: 9, 10.

Am I a cheerful and optimistic person? -- Proverbs 15: 15

If you are a critical, gloomy and negative person, marriage will not change you. Instead you are going to strainrepparttar 111471 marriage. Why not add some humor to your life by being cheerful and optimistic.

The Secret To Success In Courtship And Marriage, Sex And Happiness (Part 2)

Written by Arthur Zulu


 It seems much easier to fall in love than to stay in love. --DR. KAREN KAYSER. 

Would you want to marry in haste and repent at leisure? No, folk. May that not be your destiny. But you see, marriage is like a packed theater with some uninterested spectators wanting to get out, and other interested ones waiting outside, wishing to get in.

If you think though that marriage can solve all of your problems, you are mistaken. Ask a married friend. But it can give you a measure of security and satisfaction if you play byrepparttar rules.

But we forgetrepparttar 111457 rules, before we rush into matrimony. And when a sailor forgets his navigation rules, he suffers a shipwreck.

You see, people enter into marriage relationships with little or no preparation. If you were enteringrepparttar 111458 university for example, you will be asked to sit for a qualifying exam. You may even be asked to show other supporting qualifications likerepparttar 111459 TOEFL if you were heading for a U.S. university.

But these are small things compared torepparttar 111460 permanent relationship of marriage. Yetrepparttar 111461 only requirement inrepparttar 111462 marriage registry is your signature. Nothing else.

However, there are dangers to watch out for just before you append your signature to that marriage certificate. And what are they?

Failed Expectations

People think of marriage as a kind of fiction story whererepparttar 111463 characters live happily ever after. But it is never so. Becauserepparttar 111464 great expectation of your Sleeping Beauty or Prince Charming may turn out to be a bad dream. The love, attention and support that you badly craved before marriage may turn out to be a tale of rejection and disillusion.

Incompatibility

You may also discover afterrepparttar 111465 marriage that both of you are poles apart -- with different interests. Those characteristics which were hidden beforerepparttar 111466 marriage now becomes manifest. And it becomes a story of if I had known. (No thanks to mismatch and your beguiling mate!)

Conflict

Your Happy Valley or Fortunate Isles, now turns to be a battlefield of squabbling, fighting, and God forbid -- physical violence. The very sweet words, like honeycombs which were used to win your hand in marriage now become weapons of abuse and war.

Apathy

It may be that you will one day find yourself saying: I am no longer interested. And thenrepparttar 111467 marriage drags on and on, like a factory worker tolerating a bad job -- to keep body and soul together. And one day, apathy turns to hate, and you find yourself telling your partner thatrepparttar 111468 game is up!

Money

Do not deceive yourself thinking that money will make you happy. It doesrepparttar 111469 opposite, says Paul Gettyrepparttar 111470 American millionaire.

Now suppose there is bickering over money in a joint venture? Or suppose your previously rich spouse now suffers financial misfortune? And you who were used to summer holidays inrepparttar 111471 Virgin Islands, and cruising in yachts inrepparttar 111472 Mediterranean now see poverty and hardship staring at you inrepparttar 111473 face? What will you do?

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