The Roles of Parent, Savior, Teacher and Super-responsible

Written by Robert Elias Najemy

You may see someone you know in Anthony ? perhaps even yourself.

Anthony playsrepparttar role of "the savior." He feels responsible for just about everyone?s reality. He believes he must rescue them and keep them well and happy. . He feels he has failed in his "role", and cannot rest, as long as someone he feels responsible for is not well and happy. Others easily use or control him by making him feel responsible forrepparttar 126278 fact that they are not well or happy.

When he is with others, he has difficulty identifying his own needs. In this role "others? needs are more important than his." He avoids expressing needs that would prevent others from getting what they want. Playingrepparttar 126279 savior often causes him to becomerepparttar 126280 "victim" of those he is trying to "save."

He is so preoccupied with other people?s problems that he seldom recognizes or confesses his own.

His family, however, complains that he gives more time to solving other people?s problems than theirs. He does care about his family, but receives greater satisfaction of recognition and self-worth from solving others? problems.

He often feels used, tired and resentful that he spends so much time on others while they rarely reciprocate. He worries about others and becomes stressed about their situations and difficulties. He advises them and he tries to control them, exerting pressure on them (for "their own good," or to "prevent them making a mistake" and thus possibly ruining his "results").

He criticizes and rejects others when they make mistakes or when they do not follow his directions or orders. He gives advice even to those who do not ask for it and feels disappointed when they do not follow it. He attracts to himself people with problems and rejects himself for not being able to "save" them.

He finds it difficult to confess or express his weaknesses, needs, fears or his own problems. He fears, that in doing so, others will see his faults and lose respect for him.

As a child, he was programmed to believe he was responsible for his siblings, a role his mother had also played.

Some beliefs that engage him in this role are:

1. I am responsible for others? reality. 2. Without me, others cannot progress - cannot be well. 3. It?s my fault if others are not well. 4. If I am not able to create a perfect reality for them, I have failed in my role and am not worthy. 5. If others are not happy with me, I have failed and I am not worthy. 6. If others do not trust me, I am not worthy. 7. If others do not listen to me, do not obey me, do not follow my advice, I am incapable in this role and I am unworthy. 8. If I am no good in my role, I will not be respected and will be unworthy of their esteem. I will end up alone and will be in danger. 9. If I am not in control of things around me, anything can go wrong. I cannot trust others. If I am not in control, I am in danger. 10. If I show weakness or need, or if I have vices, I am in danger because: a. I will be rejected, unwanted, and in danger. b. My weaknesses will be used as a means to hurt me. 11. I am worthy only if I am inrepparttar 126281 position of authority, i.e. teacher, savior, parent. Only then can I feel safe and secure. 12. If I am needed (as a teacher, parent, savior), I will not be abandoned. I will not be alone. Some beliefs which can free him from this role:

Beating Fear!

Written by Lisa van den Berg

We've all felt it.

The vice like grip of adrenaline,repparttar pounding heart,repparttar 126277 racing pulse andrepparttar 126278 tight throat,repparttar 126279 sweaty palms. Yep, that's what happens to us all when we succumb to FEAR!

Whether it be a spider, a speech in front of an audience, an exam, a near car crash or a bump inrepparttar 126280 night, they all elicit repparttar 126281 same reaction.

When I stop to consider allrepparttar 126282 physical symptoms that fear brings about, I am in awe atrepparttar 126283 autonomic functions of our physical selves. The completely automatic reactions our bodies produce in order to activaterepparttar 126284 'Flight or Fight' response.

Think now, how in a non life-threatening situation, we can take control, with our minds, of not only our physical but also our emotional response to a fearful situation.

I've just re-readrepparttar 126285 amazing book by Dr Susan Jeffers entitled 'Feelrepparttar 126286 Fear...And Do It Anyway!' She talks aboutrepparttar 126287 responses we should actively encourage ourselves to feel, if we want to overcome fearful situations.

The 'Fight or Flight' response to a dangerous situation is one ofrepparttar 126288 amazing systemsrepparttar 126289 body uses to survive. This is a brilliant example of how our subconscious conditioning can save us, without a contemplative thought process being involved.

However, when we allow that same non contemplative, automatic response to govern our everyday lives, we need to do something about it.

We need to realize that any barrier in our mind is there because of past conditioning. The subconscious is like a jigsaw puzzle. The initial pieces get placed in a certain pattern, typically byrepparttar 126290 time we are 6, and get cemented in place. This 'jigsaw' forms our map of life. The subconscious now KNOWS not to touch a hot oven plate as well as KNOWing that you have certain shortcomings that you'll never be able to change!

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