Anthony plays role of "the savior." He feels responsible for just about everyone?s reality. He believes he must rescue them and keep them well and happy. . He feels he has failed in his "role", and cannot rest, as long as someone he feels responsible for is not well and happy. Others easily use or control him by making him feel responsible for fact that they are not well or happy.

When he is with others, he has difficulty identifying his own needs. In this role "others? needs are more important than his." He avoids expressing needs that would prevent others from getting what they want. Playing savior often causes him to become "victim" of those he is trying to "save."

He is so preoccupied with other people?s problems that he seldom recognizes or confesses his own.

His family, however, complains that he gives more time to solving other people?s problems than theirs. He does care about his family, but receives greater satisfaction of recognition and self-worth from solving others? problems.

He often feels used, tired and resentful that he spends so much time on others while they rarely reciprocate. He worries about others and becomes stressed about their situations and difficulties. He advises them and he tries to control them, exerting pressure on them (for "their own good," or to "prevent them making a mistake" and thus possibly ruining his "results").

He criticizes and rejects others when they make mistakes or when they do not follow his directions or orders. He gives advice even to those who do not ask for it and feels disappointed when they do not follow it. He attracts to himself people with problems and rejects himself for not being able to "save" them.

He finds it difficult to confess or express his weaknesses, needs, fears or his own problems. He fears, that in doing so, others will see his faults and lose respect for him.

As a child, he was programmed to believe he was responsible for his siblings, a role his mother had also played.

Some beliefs that engage him in this role are:

The vice like grip of adrenaline, pounding heart, racing pulse and tight throat, sweaty palms. Yep, that's what happens to us all when we succumb to FEAR!

Whether it be a spider, a speech in front of an audience, an exam, a near car crash or a bump in night, they all elicit same reaction.

When I stop to consider all physical symptoms that fear brings about, I am in awe at autonomic functions of our physical selves. The completely automatic reactions our bodies produce in order to activate 'Flight or Fight' response.

Think now, how in a non life-threatening situation, we can take control, with our minds, of not only our physical but also our emotional response to a fearful situation.

I've just re-read amazing book by Dr Susan Jeffers entitled 'Feel Fear...And Do It Anyway!' She talks about responses we should actively encourage ourselves to feel, if we want to overcome fearful situations.

The 'Fight or Flight' response to a dangerous situation is one of amazing systems body uses to survive. This is a brilliant example of how our subconscious conditioning can save us, without a contemplative thought process being involved.

However, when we allow that same non contemplative, automatic response to govern our everyday lives, we need to do something about it.