The Revenge Affair: Characteristics of the Adulterer

Written by Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach

"I Want to Get Back at Him/Her" is one of 6 kinds of affairs I outline in my E-book.

This isrepparttar "revenge affair." It occurs in a marriage in which one feels slighted in some manner and seeks revenge by engaging in an affair.

It is less a movement towardrepparttar 146282 other person and more a movement away from one’s spouse. The offending spouse usually lacksrepparttar 146283 skills of personal confrontation or is frightened byrepparttar 146284 prospect of someone "getting upset."

When evaluating this kind of affair, make a distinction between revenge and rage. Revenge is not rage. Rage comes from a different source, as outlined in one ofrepparttar 146285 other kinds of affairs.

Here are some characteristics ofrepparttar 146286 person who uses infidelity as revenge:

1, Usually is rather unpredictable and erratic in his behavior.

2. Has a hard time making decisions.

3. Is often impatient and irritable when things don’t go her way.

4. Some ofrepparttar 146287 resentment seems to “seep out” alongrepparttar 146288 edges, maybe when you least expect it.

Extramarital Affairs: When Sexual Addiction and Infidelity Meet

Written by Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach

One kind of extramarital affair revolves around sexual addiction. The partner involved inrepparttar affair, plain and simple, has a difficult time saying "NO." He/she may want to, but feels compelled to say "yes."

People can’t say no? Well, I believe we all haverepparttar 146281 capacity, at some level, to say no. However, not all have developed that capacity or reached that level to firmly say no and mean it.

Some are “stuck” and seem to lackrepparttar 146282 ability to consistently act onrepparttar 146283 “no.” Please remember that all of us are “grabbed” by something and find it difficult to let go. Infidelity when connected to sexual addiction and its many forms, however, becomes a powerful focal point.

How to know if infidelity is attached to sexual addiction:

1. Sex takes on an inflated role or value. Sex, sexual conquest, sexual release becomes a powerful force. Acting onrepparttar 146284 sexual impulse is a frequent activity. Thinking about sex likewise consumes an inordinate amount of time. Multiple ways of acting out sexually (porn, strip clubs, multiple sex partners, etc.) are common.

2. This activity is bound by fear. The person lives with fear:repparttar 146285 fear of getting caught,repparttar 146286 fear of consequences,repparttar 146287 fear of “being found out,”repparttar 146288 fear of being abnormal,repparttar 146289 fear of being punished, andrepparttar 146290 fear of losing family, spouse, job and respect.

3. A promise/failure cycle ebbs and flows withrepparttar 146291 inability to say no. After an “acting out” episoderepparttar 146292 person usually experiences guilt/fear and promises to self or others, “I won’t do it again.” This will last...untilrepparttar 146293 “urge” is acted upon again. The spouse may be aware or unaware (but sense that something is not “right”) ofrepparttar 146294 “roller coaster” and succession of broken promises.

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