This is "revenge affair." It occurs in a marriage in which one feels slighted in some manner and seeks revenge by engaging in an affair.

It is less a movement toward other person and more a movement away from one’s spouse. The offending spouse usually lacks skills of personal confrontation or is frightened by prospect of someone "getting upset."

When evaluating this kind of affair, make a distinction between revenge and rage. Revenge is not rage. Rage comes from a different source, as outlined in one of other kinds of affairs.

Here are some characteristics of person who uses infidelity as revenge:

1, Usually is rather unpredictable and erratic in his behavior.

2. Has a hard time making decisions.

3. Is often impatient and irritable when things don’t go her way.

People can’t say no? Well, I believe we all have capacity, at some level, to say no. However, not all have developed that capacity or reached that level to firmly say no and mean it.

Some are “stuck” and seem to lack ability to consistently act on “no.” Please remember that all of us are “grabbed” by something and find it difficult to let go. Infidelity when connected to sexual addiction and its many forms, however, becomes a powerful focal point.

How to know if infidelity is attached to sexual addiction:

1. Sex takes on an inflated role or value. Sex, sexual conquest, sexual release becomes a powerful force. Acting on sexual impulse is a frequent activity. Thinking about sex likewise consumes an inordinate amount of time. Multiple ways of acting out sexually (porn, strip clubs, multiple sex partners, etc.) are common.

2. This activity is bound by fear. The person lives with fear: fear of getting caught, fear of consequences, fear of “being found out,” fear of being abnormal, fear of being punished, and fear of losing family, spouse, job and respect.