The Price We Pay For PlayWritten by Dr. Dorree Lynn
You know it is January because more people are sad, mad, or bad than glad. There are many explanations for this behavior. One, is that dark cold winter days and lack of sunlight lowers Serotonin levels in brain causing a general malaise or funk, sort of like bears who just want to hibernate until warm weather beckons. Others believe that holiday let down leaves people, well, let down, often disappointed and aware of their loss of a perfect holiday dream. For still others, holidays were so wonderful that they have a post holiday melt down where nothing seems right. They miss their loved ones and little seems exciting. Then there are those who have gone away to play. There is a general “rule of thumb” that claims it takes as much time to readjust to normal life as time you were on vacation. One week away, means one week of not feeling quite back to your usual routine. Two weeks away may take two weeks to get totally back to it.
My friend Jane is one of those people for whom change, even positive change means readjustment is difficult. After a wonderful time visiting her grown children and as she says “vegging out” she had hardest time getting back to being a fully functioning human being. It was as if she was a piece of well-oiled machinery and all her screws had come loose. Tightening them again just seemed too hard to do.
Perhaps, children are home from school. “Wonderful” you think. There's so much fun we can have together. But, truth is you are ready for a semi-neat home again and a few moments of peace and quiet. Much loved men seem underfoot, and besides you guys are more than ready to go back to work. The year-end fluctuating stock market has made some of you nuts. The office seems a place of stability and order. If you are a workingwoman, especially a working mom, you secretly wonder if you should just delete everything and start fresh.
Reactions To Traumatic Events - Part 2Written by Dr. Dorree Lynn
What to expect: Women A woman's work is never done--so goes saying -- and during this time of uncertainty and healing, perhaps this is truer than ever. Women tend to be ones responsible for keeping home fires burning, children's schedules organized, and their own lives in order. Plus, she is often involved with community connections, house of worship attendance, food shopping, and even getting her own nails done--often she wears so many hats, she can loose her own head. I can't recall ever having a working woman in therapy who didn't instinctively have her children's schedules easily retrievable, tucked away in some corner of her brain, whatever else she may have been involved in. Women tend to worry about family tradition, past, present and future in a way that men rarely do. Women are hard wired to nurture their young and to keep family together.
During this turbulent time, more than ever, women, need opportunity to talk, to be listened to and to be nurtured. Some women may want more sex, others who were previously interested, shun lovemaking and can't bear to be touched-well maybe held-but nothing more. Men, it helps to remember women that women tend to carry vulnerability of family ties, hearth and home, children's skinned knees and fearful hearts. Be gentle with your loved one. Do unexpected. Bring her flowers, make dinner reservations, and take care of her as best you can. She needs your support right now. And if you give it, you may be surprised at all you reap in return.