Her skepticism was a compliment at time. Her disbelief was a subtle way of saying that I had some writing ability. You know what? I bragged about it for days!

What is power of touch anyway?

Science tells us that a touch triggers release of brain endorphins — an endogenous analgesic more powerful than heroin or morphine. But touch is more than just a scientific confluence of brain chemicals.

My late grandmother used to tell me that only way to tame a wild cat was to rub cat’s forehead several times. One day, a relative from mountain village gave my family a wild female cat. She was small but fierce. Nobody in house dared to touch her.

But grandma’s wisdom compelled me to try. I approached cat. Initially, she would jump and would bend its body and tail in rage. Meanwhile, a loud, ferocious cry would come out from her vicious mouth. Each time I attempted to touch her, she would run away. Eventually I prevailed. She later gave in and allowed me to rub her forehead — initially, for a few seconds, then for a few minutes.

What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let’s face it, it’s hard down there, in land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.

We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level, but how we are feeling is what really counts. In that place we call Grief & Loss, is where pain dominates our life and where suffering is paramount teacher. This is really difficult, and we know it only too well at times like these. We go there because we have to, but we try hard to escape, as soon as possible.

What is necessary now to get through to end of this process? Is it simply a matter of toughing it out, or, do we have to dredge and dig and pummel ourselves along way? It’s hard to be sure what we must do at such times.

All those Gurus that say “do it this way or that way,” are they capable of handling it themselves? As a survivor, going through grief, I would want to know that, wouldn’t you? The essence of false advertising is “never having been there yourself,” is it not? Absolutely, this we all know without a doubt.

So what do we require then to move through this landscape called Grief & Loss? We seem to know this at some level, don’t we? We seem to know that deep down where our sorrows dwell, there is an inescapable reality. We have to feel this. Oh yes, it’s an ugly fact, but true nevertheless. We have to feel this pain in order to exorcise it from our bodies. Yes, we have to feel it, so we can learn that this too is survivable. Isn’t that most important thing in all such activities – to know where you are at in your own heart when you finally get to truth?