She stood before me with two black eyes. Once a gregariously happy woman, she was now reduced to a shadow of
woman I used to know. Her name is Kelly. Everyone knows a Kelly at least once in their lifetime. Or, Kelly could be you. This is a true story...
Kelly is in her early thirties with three young children, all girls. Her last child was born just a few short months ago. What should be a time of happiness and joy is a time of hurt and pain. You see, Kelly is at mercy of her husband, a drug user, who reminds her that she is worthless and shouldn’t have right to be alive.
I didn’t know much about Kelly's life before she started working with me about a year ago, but I liked her right off bat. She was full of energy and lit up room wherever she went. Today, however, even brightest light couldn't have covered up shadows that loomed.
I knew before going to work that she had been punched in face and was wearing two black eyes. I knew, too, that she had to work so that her children could eat and that was why she had to force herself to be there.
The moment I saw her, I wanted to hug her and tell her that everything was going to be all right, but you could tell that Kelly wanted to be alone. I watched her work, slowly and methodically, as if she were in a trance and deep in thought. She was deep in thought, all right...it’s called depression.
It's such a sad story and bad part about it is, this is sort of thing that happens every minute of every day to at least somebody in world.
There are millions of women who wear same shoes as Kelly. The horrid fact is that most of them will continue this downward spiral until they finally give up and succumb to blows. I wasn’t about to let Kelly become yet another statistic.
I knew that only way I could help Kelly was to bring her back to person she once was. I knew she was there; finding way to get her back was first step in recovering and healing.
I’m happy to say that after I explained five golden rules of self-discovery to her, I got through to her and she is now happy woman I used to know, full of promise and with a bright future ahead.
Here’s what worked for Kelly and, if you’re in same position, will work for you, too:
Forget about past.
Sometimes we tend to carry over past hurts and disappointments into our present lives and that hinders our present and future relationships. Kelly had been abused in another relationships; therefore, she expected it to continue as much as she denied it. Once she learned to look at herself as a queen in her own right did she realize that Kelly didn’t have to be at mercy of those who abused her.
Become independent.
One of things I teach, in order to become person someone would want to love, is to take charge of your own life and accept responsibilites. If you continue to rely on others to make you happy, or take care of you, you will never get to point where you become self-sufficient and happy. I suggested to Kelly to ask for more hours at work and to concentrate on that nursing degree she so wanted before she got married. She aquired a few more hours at work and signed up at local community college to pursue her career in nursing. I knew Kelly was going to make it because once she understood what she wanted from life, she set forth to attain those goals. In long run, Kelly became person someone would want to love. Above all, Kelly loved herself and that was most important thing.
Separate yourself from negative influences.
