The Person, Not the PositionWritten by Nan S. Russell
Taking time off from graduate school to earn enough money to continue, I was fortunate to find a teller position in a local Credit Union. I got more than a year’s tuition from experience. I also got a lesson in expectations.I was same person behind counter as I was attending classes weeks earlier. Yet position affected how people saw me, as if work I was doing changed who I was. No longer a book carrying, jeans-wearing campus student who might be next scientist, supreme court justice, or corporate CEO, my brown-bag lunch, thrift-shop attire with hair in a twist, left no doubts I was employed in a "regular" job. It also left no doubts to their emerging assumptions. Waiting on community members, university students, administrators and professors in my new found role was as good as any official psychology experiment for this psych major. Just like positive traits are sometimes unconsciously attributed to better looking, more athletically fit individuals, I experienced people who attached greater importance to ideas, suggestions and input based on position. My observation: to most people I was position, not person who held it.
| | R-E-S-P-E-C-T: 25 Ways To Show ItWritten by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: 25 Ways To Show It Copyright 2004 Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.Convicted criminals report that their violent behavior was caused by perceived disrespect.* Everyone wants to be treated with respect, but respect means different things to different people. It also means different things in different cultures, so treating others with respect often becomes a serious problem. If you want to avoid offending someone by being disrespectful, you must think about both what they need and how you act. Respect sometimes means 1. Look at me¬make eye contact! 2. Don’t look at me. 3. Listen attentively when I speak 4. Respond to what I mean instead of to what I say. That often means respond to my emotions as well as to my words. 5. Ignore my emotions when I am supposed to appear strong. 6. Keep agreements you make with me. 7. Keep time agreements with me. Don’t keep me waiting. 8. Notice what seems to be important to me and comment on it. 9. Remember what I like and dislike. 10. Don’t force me to encounter things I hate. 11. Allow me my privacy. 12. Don’t ignore me. 13. Acknowledge everything I do well. 14. Don’t demean me by commenting on my expected work. 15. Offer to shake hands. 16. Never disagree with me. 17. Challenge my thinking. 18. Don’t interrupt me. 19. Interrupt me, it means you are listening and you care. (New York) 20. Protect me. 21. Challenge me¬give me tough things to do. 22. Always speak in a calm way. 23. Match energy of my excitement. 24. Always use my title. 25. Use my first name.
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