Looking back on my behaviour I could see how I had changed from a calm, encouraging parent into a demanding, controlling tyrant. This was a true wake up call; I could not believe I had turned into very thing I hated to see in others. I asked myself, "what is more important, homework or relationship with my son?"

The parenting relationship is a tricky one; one that needs to continue to evolve over time. It is made doubly tricky by fact that child uses this relationship as a role model for future relationships. As a child they see that adults have control and power in a relationship; as they grow into adolescents they want this control and power for themselves. No wonder there are so many battles between parents and teens.

However, desire for control and power is also reflected between teenagers themselves. Mixed with self-centeredness left over from childhood and need to belong, a potent mix is created; otherwise known as peer pressure. This pressure can take many forms, from daring someone to do something that you haven't got courage to do, to manipulating someone to give you what you want. Standing up to this pressure, particularly from their close friends can be difficult,

This is not surprising given that, at adolescence, teenagers are effectively given a new body, one which has many improved features from that of their childhood body. It's no good as parents thinking we can tell them about limits of this body; just as a toddler needs to work out for themselves how to balance to walk so a teen needs to work out for themselves how to use their changed body.

Pushing themselves that little bit further each time is necessary for teen to find out what happens. They need to make mistakes so that they can self-adjust. They need to know just how fast, agile and strong their body is so they can use it appropriately in future. Not knowing their own limits is potentially much more dangerous.

However some teens also use this phase to prove themselves. In today’s competitive society, teens have been brought up to want to be better than someone else at something. For some teens this will be in classroom, others on sports field or through performing arts but for some teens none of these avenues are available.

The only way they can prove themselves to be better is through some daredevil type of physical activity, where they can show they are braver, can bear more pain or can think up some more elaborate plan. This is where these teens get their feelings of success, their sense of achievement, their sense of self-worth.

The 'I'm Invincible' phase is a crucial learning phase; it's all about taking risks and making judgements about risk. As parents, it's hard for us to let our teens take risks, we naturally want to protect them, but in attempting to protect them we are in reality often holding them back.