The Nature of AngerWritten by Kevin B. Burk, Author of The Relationship Handbook
Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger. We see anger as destructive and hurtful. We consider it to be an inappropriate response. We equate anger with violence. In short, we feel that anger is simply wrong, and that when we experience anger, there's something wrong with us. Anger isn't nice. Anger isn't polite. And anger certainly isn't our friend.
Anger can be all of these things. But anger is also useful, necessary and even healing. We need our anger. We simply need to learn how to express our anger in appropriate, conscious, supportive ways. On its own, anger is neither good nor bad. It can be used to hurt, or it can be used to heal. It may not be a particularly pleasant emotion, but it's an important one. We can all benefit from exploring nature of anger.
Guy Williams, a friend of mine who also happens to be a minister of Religious Science offers a tremendously insightful approach for understanding anger. Guy says that anger arises from a communication not delivered or an expectation not met. Anger is actually a tertiary response: our initial responses are grief and fear. First, we grieve death of expectation that was not met. Next, we fear that things will never change. Finally, we experience anger.
So few of us recognize that anger can be a positive, healing response. When we allow ourselves to experience anger, it focuses our minds, and strengthens our resolve. We discover reserves of strength and power. Our anger is what gives us courage and power to confront our fear that things will never change, by creating change.
Let's consider an example. We expect that our boundaries will be
Ghost Story - Investigating The Old Agnews Hospital Written by Gloria Young
Unsuspecting commuters and distant travelers pass by a neglected old Lafayette Street landmark, not realizing that within its massive exterior dwells something from other side of reality...something that makes one's skin tingle and envelopes one's body creating labored breathing and sweaty pores.
Just sight of this immense structure during daylight will evoke a feeling of apprehension and viewing this structure after sundown will evoke a much stronger apprehension. The whole area looks dilapidated and in disarray. The paint is peeling and flaking off its walls, windows are boarded up, withered vegetation clings to rough edges around structure as if in a death grip.We were introduced to property's caretaker. He and his wife speak of mysterious happenings in and around this old structure after sundown. The caretaker points to bushes outside this old convalescent hospital, stating that they will react strangely as people pass by. The wife is in fear for her baby, and because of this she says she keeps a loaded gun near her at all times.No one has spent night inside this old structure since it closed down almost five years ago.We decided to investigate this old convalescent home and attempt to determine if there really was anything going on that would cause such fear in people.We arrived at old hospital a little after 6 p.m. and met with a handful of workers who were taking some of fixtures out. The building was destined to be demolished in about two weeks. The workers continued working until 8 p.m.
During time that they are still there, we wandered throughout dusty hallways and climbed up and down creaky stairs to get a feel for where everything was and became familiar with floor plan. When sun went down, there would be no lights and someone could trip over something or worse, get lost in maze of rooms there are in this building. Even in daylight, this building has an unusual way of making you feel on edge. It is almost too much for me as I walk slowly past open doorways to rooms in convalescent hospital.I tried to imagine what it must have been like when old people walked these halls or were taken to various areas of hospital. We walked into a bathroom and I noticed that tubs are now caked with dirt and dust from years of neglect. Dirty stains encircle tubs and toilets and mirrors are fogged.We all feel pretty safe with our flashlights and equipment and workers not too far away. Sounds of drills and saws fill air but soon they ceased. The workers left and we were alone in this building.Slowly we made our way back to front of building and took a look up stairs one last time before workers were all gone for good.
The workers leave and wish us luck. Someone tells us that no one has ever been able to stay in this building for a few hours let alone overnight. We tell them we were here to investigate and why. Why is it that no one can stay here? We wanted to find out why things were happening in this building. We might not get another chance.
We decided to start on first floor and work our way up to third floor. We decided to stay together. Even though we had walkie-talkies and everyone was buddied with another, we decided it would be safer to be together. We were unsure about stability of floors or building.The sun had gone down but faint light filtered through windows. The rooms were getting dimmer and dimmer until it got totally dark. Although there were streetlights and safety of street was not far away, I felt very apprehensive at that point.
We started to make our way through first floor. There were boxes and barrels and construction equipment all over floor and we had to watch our step as we made our way through room after room. If not for our footsteps on floor and an occasional clicking of cameras or changing of tapes, whole building would have been deathly quiet. We reached end of first floor. We had taken a lot of readings and a lot of pictures for documentation. By my watch it was 10 p.m. We started to make our way to second floor. We began to settle in to our tasks and joked a bit. In middle of a joke, someone said to no one in particular - do you hear that? We stopped in our tracks about halfway up stairs. Suddenly, arms go up and recorders are turned on. We wait breathlessly. There it is again. It is faint, but audible. So faint though, I don't think our recorders can pick it up. A lady is calling someone. The voice, small, yet quiet...young sounding. "Come here". Pause. "Come here". Four out of five in our group heard it. It was coming from above us. Don't know where. Don't know from whom. We had not yet reached landing of second floor. A member of our group stopped suddenly. He was feeling a tingling moving slowly up his legs. We stopped and waited to see what would happen. Suddenly, there were clicking sounds. The type of clicking sounds that happen when someone would "flick their Bic". They happened in no regular pattern...3, 4, 5, 6 times. They stopped and then another voice...faint, strained -- "nurse". Pause. "Nurse". An old man calling out, his voice strained as though he could barely talk. We all were standing still, motionless. Our eyes were all fixed on landing in darkness ahead of us. These sounds were coming from up there, apparently from outside a room or in darkened hallway. They had an echo quality to them.Then they were gone. As soon as sounds came, they were gone and then dead silence. We were definitely aware of everything going on around us. Our senses were extremely heightened. We waited for what seemed like hours. It was probably only about 15 minutes. We all decided to go on. We got to second story landing and looked to left down long hall...nothing - and to right and there is nothing. Nothing moving, nobody breathing and darkness for as far as eyes could see. We heard sounds, which we attributed to building.