Painful as revelation is for me, even I as a Naval Academy graduate, retired Navy pilot, and home inspector extraordinaire, make decisions based on emotion. It took some bridging for me to get there, but I am there.

Have you ever had a feeling in your gut about a decision? A hunch? That's emotion. We make decisions that reflect how we feel about event or expect to feel when outcome is completed. People, especially those that are highly educated and technically trained, rarely realize and usually never concede that their decisions are based in emotion.

Before discussing particulars of emotional responses, I will admit that logic does play a role. What ends up happening is, after near immediate emotional response and decision, backfilling of logic begins. Logic is used to make emotion seem reasonable.

Emotional responses as I see them fall into two broad categories. The first is desire for pleasure and second is avoidance of pain. When we are contemplating a decision, we weigh balance of desire for and probability of a pleasurable outcome with fear of and distain for pain.

Hurts, doesn't it?

Believe it or not, some people can be so tactless that they are not even aware when they've hurt anyone's feelings. The receiving parties, especially sensitive ones, would be offended by their remarks. This would result in conflicts and arguments.

You know you're doing them a big favor by saving them from shame or disappointment, but would they realize your good intentions instead of feeling hurt by your brutally frank comments or advices?

They might probably think you're too rude or impolite. But what can you do if you really need to assert an honest criticism, but you're afraid of hurting others' feelings?

Want to know secret?

All you have to do is sandwich your negative comment between two positive remarks.

For example, your best friend Paul is going on his very first date. He's all excited and raring to go. Now Paul doesn't have any fashion sense. He's wearing a bland shirt and old jeans. You know all along how he hates to admit that he's wrong. So what will you do to save Paul from an embarassing first date?

Would you say to him that outfit he's wearing is repulsive? That would hurt his ego.