As an experienced 'Interneter' (definition: One who spends way too much time on internet) I know that lack of sign-ups may change. One morning I may awaken to 30 new affiliates in each of my programs. Or at least that's what my guru friends keep telling me... The SPAM however, 'ain't goin' nowhere.' It's just become a fact of internet life. 'He Who Hath Email, Will Get SPAM.'

I personally use Delete-It-And-Forget-About-It Method to deal with SPAM. This time tested method has three basic steps:

1. Select 'suspected' spam email (Note: I use term suspected because according Internet Law Code Title 12 Chapter 15 Subtitle 3 'All spam is innocent until proven guilty by a jury of it's peers, or until it emails a virus to your whole address book.)'

2. Hit 'Delete' button

3. Move on to next email

This highly complicated method for dealing with SPAM is not, I have found, for everyone. There are some people who feel that this method lets spammers off too easily. These are people who feel very strongly about SPAM. They don't just dislike SPAM, they DESPISE it. I'm talking about kind of people who, judging by their actions, must be allergic to SPAM.

These kind of people prefer I'm-Going-To-Get-You-If-It's-The-Last-Thing-I-Do-Online Method. This method involves any or all of following steps:

1. Quitting your day job so you can have more time to write nasty replies to all emails that you get that you don't remember requesting.

2. Doing an exhaustive 30 hour online search for a suspected spammers IP address so you can report them to their ISP. And their hosting services. And their mother.

4. Attempting to get in touch with Tom Ridge, newly appointed Director of Homeland Security, because you think spamming is a form of terrorism.

5. Showing up at suspected spammers front door at 3 AM wielding an AK-47 assault rifle and wearing only WWJD bandana and a mousepad, and shouting, "If I want Spam I'll buy a can" between gunshots.

However you deal with SPAM is of course your business. I, by nature, am a passive person (by passive I mean lazy) so SPAM doesn't usually annoy me to point where I feel need to take action. I will admit that occasionally though SPAM does get me a little angry. Like when I open my inbox and see that of 25 unread emails I have, 20 have subject lines like:

* Let Me Show You How To Make An Extra $5000 An Hour Selling Squid!

* Hot Blonde Men Want You!

* Congratulations You've Won An All Expense Paid Trip To Uzbekistan

This isn't article that I was planning to write today. I had a totally different article in mind. Truthfully article I was going to write was a whole lot funnier than this one. In fact I had already started typing other, much funnier, article on my PC and if all had gone well you would be reading that article instead of this one. But unfortunately for you, as always happens right when I'm in middle of something very important, my PC crashed.

Actually, I don't think term crash correctly defines what happened with my PC. With a crash there is usually some kind of warning. Take a plane crash for instance. Before plane crashes you may see any or all of following:

* thick black smoke pouring out of one or more engines

* large chunks of aircraft whizzing past your window

* pilots and flight attendants desperately strapping on parachutes

* oxygen masks dropping from ceilings, injuring taller passengers

* ground

Even stock market has signs that it is about to crash. However I don't know what they are so you'll have to take my word on that one. I once tried to get into whole stock market thing but every broker I called thought that my only having $20 to invest was 'a problem'. That's when I discovered stock market games. You can enjoy all ups and downs of investing without having to deal with hassle of actually making money and getting rich.

My point is that in almost every other form of 'crash' there are warning signs. But there are NO warning signs whatsoever before a PC crashes. You'll just be sitting there surfing Net, or typing up something in Microsoft Word, or trying to figure out how restore all those pictures of Drew Barrymoore that you downloaded that your girlfriend claims she 'accidentally' deleted, and all of a sudden !CRASH! your whole screen goes blank.