The Inception of Modern Computers, via the Back Passage.

Written by Thick Mick

Some consideration must be made forrepparttar many memory inconsistencies of Thick Mick. He does his best!

When I was no more thanrepparttar 118124 size of a mediocre ostrich egg, I got my first computer. The year was 0001 A.D.

Now, no more than myself, it wasn’t much to look at. We had no electricity; so needless to say, it wasn’t much of a present either.

You don’t get to be my age by giving out though, so I set about improving it. There were some minor obstacles.

First going of, its processor was made of granite. While this was effective, inrepparttar 118125 absence of electricity, its clock speed left something to be desired. For this, I used a simple mixture of sawdust (Trade Mark) and other sawdust (Trade Mark). Just to clarify that; sawdust is notrepparttar 118126 same anymore and when I wasrepparttar 118127 size of a hippo’s gonad, sawdust wasrepparttar 118128 remains ofrepparttar 118129 saw itself.

Next, I needed to make electricity. I got a heap of piezo-electric cells from my ears and that part was easy enough, though it had an adverse effect on my balance.

The monitor was made from a tablet of limestone, and quite frankly, was hard to keep clean. So I decided to boil more rocks, and through various experiments, I successfully made “one-way” glass. I couldn’t seerepparttar 118130 point in making it two-way, as I would be looking into it and not out of it. Anyway,repparttar 118131 fire was nearly out!

The Beginnings of Medicine, via the Back Passage.

Written by Thick Mick.

Hello, Mick here. When I should have been in short pants, but didn’t have any, medicine was hardly a tonic. The nearest comparable thing to modern medicine was a type of Acupuncture

The most noticeable difference between it then, and now, isrepparttar needles. We didn’t have medical grade stainless steel.

What we did have though, was an ample supply of bamboo chutes. While these were considered organic, whatever that is, they were somewhat larger in diameter.

If time goes as slow for you as it does for me, then discoverrepparttar 118123 virtues of ORIGINAL MEDICINE.

The science of putting such probes in particular nerve paths was more primitive, and one hundred times more effective. Supposing that you had an earache, then I can guarantee you that you would only have it once.

An immature chute (three-inches in diameter) would be forcibly inserted directly torepparttar 118124 site ofrepparttar 118125 pain!! It was a similar deal for eye infections! Re-infections were non-existent!

Inrepparttar 118126 off-chance that you had diarrhoea, thenrepparttar 118127 treatment was local, rapid and somewhat final.

I won’t even mention toothache. We had no teeth! Indeed, teeth and any associated maladies, were considered to be a waste of good timber.

Eczema, psoriasis, acne and indeed migraine were migrant workers, as far as we were concerned. Asthma was slightly different though, and was an herbal remedy for flatulence, not that we had much. It would be “lanced”, long before it would present a problem. Gaseous or otherwise.

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