I would rather drink Clorox than waiting room coffee. But of course I drink it, and I’m glad it’s there. “How nice,” I think, “that they provide this.” The only other thing that always seems to be in a hospital waiting room is 1000-piece jigsaw puzzles. I don’t know about you, but when I’m stressed, those tiny pieces are too much; however
length of time it would take to complete one is fitting. I’ve been back to same waiting room for weeks. How about you? I find
circumstances in a hospital waiting room to include, as one of
astronauts said about space flight, “all
elements necessary for a murder.”
Things have improved over
years, but they’ll always be trying. Actually, that old adage first attributed to a bomber pilot fits: It’s hours and hours of boredom punctuated by stark terror.
Of course it can also be punctuated by incredible relief, and abundant joy, and that’s part of
equation. Emotions are running high. Everyone there is concerned and waiting for information, waiting for a decision. Waiting.
So what helps? Information is always helps. If this is new territory to you, here are some tips gleaned over
years:
DIVERSION Bring light reading material and other amusements, like your laptop. And be glad for laptops. One of
worst fights I saw in a waiting room – and this
Pediatric Intensive Care waiting room, one of
saddest places on earth – was over
single electrical outlet available. There were numerous fights in this particular waiting room which, at
time included a dorm with bunks for sleeping, and which, because it was pediatric, included young folks, arguably more volatile. Many of us were there for weeks and began to get involved in each other’s lives and squabbles, like a group thrown together on a desert isle. Only worse.
At night, in
dorm,
snoring made me want to kill someone, and
sobbing made me want to convert to Buddhism and learn how to remove all suffering from
world. I sought
mercy of sleep. It was hard to come by, and when we don’t sleep well, everything is worse. Which brings up
next point.
There was someone on-call to come up and mediate fights, and guess who it was? The chaplain. Who else could handle this emotionally-charged cauldron of pain? So know that when needed, there’s a chaplain there. There’s a chaplain and a chapel in most hospitals. Seek and ye shall find.
FIGHTS Fights? Let’s say aggression. When you’re emotionally-charged, that’s one release of
tension, and in
hospital there are numerous targets –
doctors who don’t show up;
resident who treats you to his intellectual musings which have no conclusion, which leaves you more confused and scared;
person who removed your sleeping materials from your chairs as if they don’t know you’ve marked your territory;
nurses who tell you to shut off your cell phone or get out, visiting hours are over; or your own Aunt Martha who just won’t shut up about her arthritis, her bowels, and her cat.
SENSE OF HUMOR A sense of humor goes a long way. In fact some hospitals now have “laughing rooms” which I’ve read about, but not seen. I suppose they have funny videos. A good laugh is a great stress relief. You don’t feel like laughing, of course, but do it anyway, and don’t be apologetic. It’s a physiological remedy to unrelenting stress that costs less, is more readily available and has fewer side effects than Xanax. When you go back to your hotel room at night, rent
funniest movie you can find and laugh.
HELP! Take advantage of other help that’s available. The admissions person is one source; they’re also planning a discharge program from
moment of admission, so go find out.
There are volunteers around, praise
Lord, and I plan to be one one day when I’m freed from
obligation of having to make a living. Often there’s one sitting at
desk in
waiting room, by
phone. They often wear smocks and have nametags.
One of them heard me lamenting and offered to drive me to and from a Wal-Mart to pick up extra clothes and toiletries. She said she would just sit in her car and wait and “Please take all
time you need.” I tried to tell her what this meant to me. She simply replied, “It’s okay. I know about this.”
Also nearby hotels often offer greatly reduced rates for hospital visitors. Ask.
NUTRITION Now let’s talk about nutrition. The last thing you need is a sugar high, and if there’s any time you’re after comfort food, it’s in a hospital waiting room. Use what self-discipline you can. People will bring homemade cookies,
ultimate gesture of comfort food and caring, and they will tempt you, but after
4th you’ll be all jitters, and after
5th day of this, you’ll have put back on those 5 lbs. you worked so hard to get off. The remedy? Well, there’s always a hospital cafeteria, and you can also bring healthy snacks.
Eat something healthy when you can; in other words don’t miss a chance to have a good meal. Food and transportation can become iffy. If you’re prone to hypoglycemia, bring along peanut butter crackers or nuts. Being concerned about fat and calories when consumed with
munchies, I bring containers to share – ginger snaps, Toastys, and key lime meringue cookies.