The Guy Who Wished He Was a Fly

Written by greggb

You should be careful what you wish for. I know this because I knowed a guy who always used to wish he was a fly. He wished he was a fly so he could buzz around and go in peoples houses and listen on to what they was saying without them knowing he was there. He always would say, “I wish I could be a fly onrepparttar wall when those two are talking”, and he would spend a long time wishing he could be a fly and thinking about what it would be like to be a fly.

Then one night after he went to sleep he had a dream that he was a fly. Inrepparttar 149824 dream he was buzzing around and he came upon this house that belonged to this guy that he always wanted to spy on and he thought to his self “I think I’ll go in that guy’s house and go land on his wall and listen in on what he is saying”, acceptrepparttar 149825 door wasn’t open and none ofrepparttar 149826 windows was open neither, and he had no way of getting inrepparttar 149827 house. So then he thought to his self, “I’ll just go ringrepparttar 149828 doorbell and when he opensrepparttar 149829 door to see who is there, I’ll buzz into his house and land on his wall and listen in on what he’s saying”. Accept he couldn’t ringrepparttar 149830 doorbell because flies aren’t strong enough to ring doorbells, plus they don’t have fingers.

So then he decided he would just wait untilrepparttar 149831 guy came out of his house and then he would buzz in real quick and land onrepparttar 149832 wall and wait for him to come back, then he would listen in on what he was saying. Accept while he was waiting forrepparttar 149833 door to open he heard a buzzing sound, and he thought to his self, “I’ll go checkout that buzzing sound”. And when he got closer torepparttar 149834 buzzing sound he saw another fly buzzing around something onrepparttar 149835 ground, he didn’t know what it was but it was lying inrepparttar 149836 grass, and there was a bunch of flies buzzing around it and landing on it, and most ofrepparttar 149837 flies was eating it.

When he got closer one ofrepparttar 149838 flies screamed at him, “Go away, this is ours and you can not have any of it!” and he realized what it was they was buzzing around and eating on and he said, “You guys are disgusting! I don’t want to eat any of that.” Accept it did smell kind of good, even though it smelled really bad. And he did want to try and taste it, just to see what it would be like. Accept he remembered that he had a job to do, he had to get into this guy’s house and land on his wall and listen in on what he was saying, so he went back and waited byrepparttar 149839 door again. Then finallyrepparttar 149840 door opened, and he buzzed in real quick and landed onrepparttar 149841 wall and waited forrepparttar 149842 guy to come back.

While he was waiting forrepparttar 149843 guy to come back he thought to his self, “I think I’ll go explore around”, and he started buzzing aroundrepparttar 149844 house looking at what was inrepparttar 149845 house through his bug eyes, which is different than normal eyes. Then he came up to a window and looked through it and saw outside laying onrepparttar 149846 grass a pile of something. He thought to his self, “I think I’ll just try one taste to see what it’s like”, and he started flying towardsrepparttar 149847 pile, accept something was in his way. He looked and didn’t see nothing in his way, so he tried flying towardsrepparttar 149848 pile again, but something was in his way again. He looked again and didn’t see nothing in his way, so he tried flying towardsrepparttar 149849 pile again, accept something was in his way again. Then he got really frustrated and started trying to fly towardsrepparttar 149850 pile over and over again, but every time something was in his way, until finally he was so tired he couldn’t fly no more, and his exoskeleton was hurting like he might of cracked it, or at least bruised it a bit. So then he sitted inrepparttar 149851 window sill and thought about fly things for a while. I asked him what kinds of things flies think about and he said, “You wouldn’t understand unless you have ever been a fly,” and I said, “Oh”.

Then finallyrepparttar 149852 guy came home and not long after he came homerepparttar 149853 phone rang andrepparttar 149854 guy picked it up and started to talk into it. Sorepparttar 149855 guy who was having a dream about being a fly started buzzing around and looking for a place to land that was close torepparttar 149856 guy, sense flies can’t hear very far. He saw something hanging fromrepparttar 149857 ceiling, it was long and kind of spiraled, and also it smelled pretty good, and he thought to his self “I’ll just land hear and listen in on to what he is saying onrepparttar 149858 phone”. Accept whenrepparttar 149859 guy would talk he couldn’t understand what he was saying. The guy talked for a long time butrepparttar 149860 guy who was dreaming he was a fly could not understand him. He saw another fly who had also landed onrepparttar 149861 long, spiraled thing and said, “How come I can not understand what he is saying? Can you understand what he is saying?”

A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes

Written by Richard A. Chapo

Lawyer Jokes

Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?

A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.

Q: What isrepparttar legal definition of “Appeal”?

A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To practice.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12?

A: Your Honor.

Q: What’srepparttar 149654 difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one,repparttar 149655 other side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you crossrepparttar 149656 Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?

A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.

Q: What'srepparttar 149657 difference between an attorney and a pit bull?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What'srepparttar 149658 definition of mixed emotions?

A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

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