The Guide to Changing Your Name after MarriageWritten by Rachel Greenberg
Whether or not to change your name after marriage is a personal decision that each person must make on his/her own. But once you’ve decided to take plunge, you need to be prepared for administrative tasks that await you. Trying to get all of your IDs and accounts updated can be tedious, and even just knowing where to start is a major task itself. The following checklist should make this process much less worrisome, and hopefully hassle-free:
1. Certified copy of marriage license Before you begin, make sure you get 2 or 3 certified copies of your marriage license from office where you applied for license. You will need to show this document several times as proof of your name change. You really only need one copy - since most places only need to see copy, not keep it – but it’s best to have a few extras on hand.
2. Driver’s License The Department of Motor Vehicles is run differently in each state, but it is most likely that you will need to go in person to local office and show a certified copy of your marriage license. Some states will also have you update your name on your voter registration at same time that you change your name on your license. If they do not, then make sure you contact appropriate state office to get this done.
3. Social Security Card This will also require a visit in person, so locate Social Security Office in your area. They will need to see a certified copy of your marriage license, as well as another ID with your new name. If you have already completed step #2, then you will have necessary ID. The Social Security Administration will notify IRS and Post Office of your name change, so you do not need to inform these organizations separately.
4. Bank Accounts & 401k Most banking institutions will need to see a copy of marriage license (just a regular copy, not a certified copy) along with a written letter stating that you wish to change your name on your accounts. You can either check your accounts online or call each place to see exactly what is needed. Once you have made change, make sure to order checks with new name.
Do You Want To Know How Monogamy Came To Be?Written by Joseph T Farkasdi
In Hebrew Bible, there is a clear distinction between a love relationship and a marriage arrangement. Love relationships are depicted, over all, as blinding-revealing passion for someone who is object of individual’s attention. For example, Yaakov’s passion for Rachel (B’reshith 29). King David’s lustful desire for Batsheva (Sh’muel Bet 11-12). Samson’s love for D’leelah, dominatrix of Hebrew Bible (Shofetim 16). Just to name a few. A marriage arrangement requires that one’s married to each other fulfill ethical and moral legal obligations that are binding upon them under laws prescribed within community. Further, love between ones married to each other is not guaranteed. Divorce is probable, and arrangements for that are legally prescribed in both Torah and Talmud. Marital strife is likely to occur due to differences in individual needs or unpredictable circumstances, and must be weathered through by adherence to marital obligations. Love can flourish between married partners, and this is "ideal" if individuals work together through struggles and keeping obligations to nurture its continued existence in marriage. In Hebrew Bible, all aspects dealing with legal institution of marriage express polygamy. So, too, do all narratives on marriage lives of people; with what may appear to be rare exception of a few. But, Torah rarely, if ever, gives full disclosure on personal lives of its legendary people. It has selective memory, and midrash of later generations have had to fill in areas not covered. If we were to stretch scripture a little, and interpret that some marriages were intentionally portrayed as monogamous, all this really shows us is two possibilities. The first, is that some men were likely to take only one wife; and/or two, that some should limit themselves to a lesser number. All aspects dealing with what can be described as a monogamous relationship within Hebrew Bible deal with love affair situation of a biblical patriarch and a woman (not always a Hebrew matriarch). Kept in its context, Hebrew Bible presents cultural marriage arrangement of its time – polygamy. It even legally defines proper marriage behavior for husband who is married to more than one wife (D'varim 21.15-17). And, in typical Hebrew teaching style, polygamist marriage narratives teach us that relationships are a struggle between individual needs. And, that obligations – laws, commandments, rules – of being legally married to each other requires that these struggles be worked out within marriage. Great lengths of creativity within marriages of biblical times were taken to accomplish this.
The "idea" that Torah encourages monogamy by showing all struggles happening in polygamist relationships is a later midrashic interpretation of Common Era Palestinian Jews*. [*See footnote below.] The Jews of intertestimal times (the 700 year period between writing of Jewish scrolls, now known as TaNaKH, and writings of Greek New Testament by Greco-Roman Christians of Diaspora). And, for only about a thousand years, has it been upheld through cultural law as ideal within most Jewish communities, and more specifically Ashkenazic community of Old Europe. The rabbis of intertestimal period took TaNaKH scriptures out of their context and applied new meanings to them to deal with present problems occurring within overran, hellenistically influenced Yisrael. The old ways and reasons for these ways were no longer being followed enthusiastically, and new ways were needed to keep integrity of Hebrew teachings.
Hence, new law that appeared in Damascus Document* scroll of intertestimal times that limits marriage to one husband and one wife. The Damascus scroll gives a new definition to what is considered act of fornication. It specifically states that fornication, a sexual sin, is taking of more than one wife in a man’s lifetime. The rationale for this definition of fornication is based upon two quotes from legend narratives of Torah. B’reshith 1.27, "So G-d created humankind in his image, in image of G-d did he create it, male and female he created them" and 7.9, "two and two (each) came to Noah, into Ark, male and female, as G-d had commanded Noah." Both scriptures were taken out of their context and have nothing to do with Moshaic laws regarding marriage. And, one quote from D'varim 17.17 that speaks of King of Yisrael, that he is not to "multiply wives for himself." (A translation of Damascus Document is available in The Dead Sea Scrolls, A New Translation.) [*See footnote below.]
This latter biblical injunction does not restrict King to one wife only, but instructs him not to create a harem for himself, so that his attention remains on his duties as King. The King is also told in this same passage of scripture not to "multiply horses for himself," "not to return people to Egypt in order to multiply horses," and that "silver and gold he is not to multiply for himself to excess." Neither of these injunctions say that King is restricted to owning only one horse and possessing one piece of silver or gold. The D’varim passage cited as validation by first intertestimal adherents to monogamy is dealing with political-trade transactions of King. Later tradition has ascribed B’reshith 2.24 and Mishlei 31 as further justification that ancient Jews intended for us to form monogamous marriages. Again, scripture is taken out of context to justify a fundamentalist view. With passage of Mishlei, it is expressing ideal wife and likens her to Shechinah, which is feminine image of G-d, Hebrew G-ddess. It does not make slightest suggestion concerning number of wives a man is to have. To say that Bible supports a bias towards (or against) something that it clearly does not is simply wrong to do. And, this kind of interpreting leads to injustice.