In Part One, I described laws of motivation. In Part Two, I'll examine laws in more detail.

Law 1. Motivation is physical action. Motivation isn't about what people think or feel but about what they physically do. In leadership, you should understand difference between inspiration and motivation.

The word "inspiration" comes from ancient Greeks and oracle of Delphi. The oracle would sit in front of a fissure in earth and breath in (inspire) earth vapors and in a half-drugged state, make her pronouncements. For instance, when she told Greeks only a "wall of wood" would save them from being annihilated by Persians, it was Greeks themselves who had to take action and build up a great navy that ultimately defeated Persians at Battle of Salamis.

Motivation, on other hand, comes from a complex of words beginning with "mo." Motion, motor, momentum, etc. all denote physical action.

Getting people to not simply be inspired but motivated to take physical action may seem like a simple, even simplistic, approach to leadership. However, once you begin to see your leadership interactions in terms of physical action, you'll see your leadership, and way you get results, in fresh ways.

For instance, in my seminars, participants develop Action Plans designed to achieve measurable and continual results back on job. I have them challenge cause leaders they enlist to take physical action by asking them, "What three or four leadership actions, PHYSICAL ACTIONS, will you take to achieve results we need?" The difference between people simply saying they will execute their part of Plan and their committing to specific physical actions leads to a significant difference in results.

Remember, people who simply take some action are useless to organization. The useful ones are those who take action for results. For end of all action in an organization is results. Therefore, best action is freely chosen action directed toward specific results.

Law 2. Motivation is their choice. When you face a particularly tough challenge, avoid meeting that challenge by ordering people; instead, have people make choices to meet challenges.

An effective way to have them make right choices is to ask them questions.

Here is a tip that you can start using immediately to become a more effective leader. Put question marks, not periods, at end of your sentences. That's one of best ways of developing an environment in which people are making choices for results.

This litany of phone calls and conversations on death or parting has all occurred in past 30 years of my life, most in last 20. Whether I was one delivering or receiving these messages, speaking of each one was start of long, seemingly endless process of grieving. Often, I felt so sucker punched that I doubted I could go on. Getting up next day seemed impossible, yet somehow I almost always did.

Something deep inside told me I had to, that there was no other way to get through it, but to keep moving. I attribute that to my deep belief in a higher plan and a sense that getting through this trial was like going through a tunnel. I told myself that if I put one foot in front of other, I would eventually come out other side and be able to feel somewhat whole again. Sometimes, it was all I could do to put one toe in front of other, but all forward movement I deemed positive.

The last five instances happened within past five years, with my mother and sister-in-law and godfather's deaths back to back in '99, '00 and '01. Looking for reason why I have been given so many opportunities to experience grip of grief first hand, I now believe it was in order to help others and ease their way.

If you've been here, you know. There's no magic pill to get you through immense pain, intense sadness and amazing denial, anger and upset that you feel. However, I did create, through trial and error, a few simple practices which have profoundly impacted my journey through tunnel and I would like to share them with you.