The F-Word

Written by Kevin B. Burk, Author of The Relationship Handbook

I'd like to invite you to consider a powerful concept. This concept is essential--we must learn how to master it if we want to experiencerepparttar levels of joy, happiness, love and prosperity that are our birthright. Many of us, however, resist this concept. We use it sparingly, if at all, and occasionally, we won't even consider it as an option. In fact, for many of us, this concept is so emotionally charged that I hesitate to even name it, because if I call it anything other thanrepparttar 122241 "f-word" it could put our egos on high alert.

You see, in many cases, avoiding this concept isrepparttar 122242 ego's front line defense--an effort to protect us from experiencing pain. The ego believes that if we embracedrepparttar 122243 "f-word" we would be defenseless at best, and at worst, we would be destroyed completely. Of course, it doesn't help that most of us have a somewhat ego- and fear-based understanding ofrepparttar 122244 "f-word" that makes it less than appealing. The truth is that embracingrepparttar 122245 "f-word" isrepparttar 122246 secret to experiencing genuine freedom in our lives.

So, what isrepparttar 122247 "f-word"? Forgiveness.

In order to improve our lives, our relationships, and our reality, we must learn and practice forgiveness. We must forgive freely, liberally, and often. We must forgive everything and everyone--especiallyrepparttar 122248 people we arerepparttar 122249 most reluctant to forgive. But let's take a few moments to considerrepparttar 122250 true nature of forgiveness.

Guy Williams, a friend of mine who also happens to be a minister of Religious Science, suggested this take onrepparttar 122251 nature of forgiveness. Forgiveness simply means to give as before. When we are angry with someone, when we harbor resentment towards someone, we have stopped giving to him or her. We no longer give that person our love or our compassion. They have betrayed us and caused us pain. And we know what happens anytime we have a painful experience, right? Our egos immediately create a new frame and a new belief in an effort to protect us from experiencing that pain again inrepparttar 122252 future.

Our egos are reluctant to acceptrepparttar 122253 truth that sometimes unpleasant and painful experiences are unavoidable. Our egos need to believe that they can protect us. Our egos need a scapegoat--something (or someone) concrete that can be identified, isolated and avoided. Holding onto our anger and resentment keeps us separate fromrepparttar 122254 person or persons who betrayed us. This, in turn, reinforcesrepparttar 122255 illusion that we are separate from those individuals, and distances us fromrepparttar 122256 truth that there is no separation: We are all aspects of All That Is. The less we rememberrepparttar 122257 truth of who we are,repparttar 122258 more our essential spiritual and life lessons seem to present challenges rather than opportunities. Everyone always doesrepparttar 122259 best they can at any given time, and that's all we can ever expect.

Change the Words and Change the World

Written by Kevin B. Burk, Author of The Relationship Handbook

If we want to change our lives in any way, all we need to do is to change our words, thoughts and beliefs. When we changerepparttar words, we changerepparttar 122240 world.

Overrepparttar 122241 course of this handbook, you may discover a number of beliefs that no longer support you. By following this simple, three-step process, you can change your beliefs. By consciously creating beliefs that support us, we can change our reality and enhance our lives.

AWARENESS The first and most important step towards changing our beliefs and improving our lives is to become consciously aware of our beliefs. We must identify each thought that shapes our experiences. We have to name our thoughts. We must become conscious ofrepparttar 122242 exact words that we have been using to create our realities. This isrepparttar 122243 first step towards mastering our minds.

So much of our life is governed by our unconscious thoughts, beliefs and patterns. We have lived with so many of these thoughts for so long that we believe that they're actually real. We tell ourselves "that's justrepparttar 122244 way things are." Many of these thoughts are beliefs about who we are and what we're entitled to--and almost all of these beliefs denyrepparttar 122245 truth of who we are, limit our potential and cut us off fromrepparttar 122246 source of our happiness and prosperity.

We must become aware of our thoughts and beliefs. This handbook is designed to support our awareness.

OWNERSHIP Once we've become aware of a belief,repparttar 122247 second step is to own it. We must accept it. We must take personal responsibility for it. We must recognize thatrepparttar 122248 belief belongs to us, and that it is a part of who we are. Most importantly, we must accept that we createdrepparttar 122249 belief.

This process is simple, but not always easy. We have to accept and acknowledge that we are responsible for creating beliefs that are often negative, painful, and limiting. On a conscious level we tell ourselves that we would never do this. Why on earth would we choose to believe that we are unworthy, damaged, unlovable, unskilled, unlucky, or any ofrepparttar 122250 millions of other possibilities? Strange as it seems, even our most negative, painful beliefs were created to serve and support us. Every single one of our beliefs exists becauserepparttar 122251 ego is trying to protect us from pain. As painful asrepparttar 122252 belief itself may be, repparttar 122253 ego believes thatrepparttar 122254 pain thatrepparttar 122255 belief shields us from is infinitely greater. Just because these beliefs no longer serve us, doesn't mean that they are bad or wrong.

It's often easier to own a belief when we are able to identify repparttar 122256 origins of that belief. If we understand that we created a belief to help us cope with a particular experience, we can accept how that belief served us atrepparttar 122257 time. This process can also help us to uncover beliefs we created because of things we were told as children.

While it's often helpful to explore where and when we first created a belief, we have to be careful. Our egos will encourage us to deflectrepparttar 122258 responsibility forrepparttar 122259 beliefs to protect us. It's one thing to recognize that we believe that we're not worthy of being loved (for example) because our parents didn't spend enough time with us. It's quite another to blame our parents for creating this belief and ruining our lives. Our parents didn't createrepparttar 122260 belief--we did. We interpreted an experience, created assumptions around it, developed expectations and createdrepparttar 122261 belief. And until we accept this, we can't change that belief.

Our egos can also interfere withrepparttar 122262 ownership process by encouraging us to identify withrepparttar 122263 limiting belief. The ego can trick us into reinforcing our negative beliefs, by turning those beliefs back on us. Essentially, we tell ourselves that we're unworthy because we created a belief that we're unworthy. We beat ourselves up for beating ourselves up. Without awareness, repparttar 122264 ego has us coming and going.

Cont'd on page 2 ==> © 2005
Terms of Use