How do you ‘manage’ this particular area of your life? It requires emotional intelligence – some awareness, creativity, flexibility and intuition, and a whole lot of common sense.

For instance, in former years I applied for a job at a major international law firm. At interview, we were handed one sheet of instructions. The second item they chose to put on this piece of paper was, “Since you have chosen to work in a conservative work environment...”

It went on to outline their strict dress code. Two of us were hired. The other one later complained to me about dress code there. I maintain - she knew when she signed up, she agreed to it, she had no leg to stand on. If you like to work out certain, um, conflicts in your life via dress code, that’s your choice. Otherwise, here are some tips.

THE POLICY

Believe what you read. Part of EQ is reality-testing. If you’re a free spirit who likes to express herself through wardrobe and accessories, don’t work for a conservative law firm. Being provocative is not emotionally intelligent.

THE REALITY

There’s P&P manual, and then there’s what really goes on. They don’t always coincide. Once you’re hired and working, EQ would suggest that you observe those around you and fit in. “When in Rome, do as Romans do.”

THE BASICS

Finally, I was able to see my lawn. After an unusually long, and cold winter it emerged from snow, dead and brown, yet ready to receive warmth of sun and promise of spring.

I flew out my back door with my rake in hand. I couldn’t wait to begin scratching up lifeless grass from last year and remove soggy and decaying leaves. The smell of warming earth filled me with joy.

I raked and raked obsessed with preparing soil for new tender shoots of green grass that would soon make their appearance. I felt exhaustion in my shoulders begin to creep in as I realized I was raking through an old bulb bed. As I cleared away leaves I spotted first crocus of season beginning to poke through ground in its delicate purple and white splendor.

I immediately stopped what I was doing and became aware of how amazing and precious life is. I was filled with sense of hope and renewal a single crocus can offer. There it was, my first tangible sign that spring was in fact here.

It got me thinking about amazing resilience of human spirit. With intensity of recent global events bombarding airwaves it’s no wonder I’ve been experiencing more underlying stress than usual and I notice those in my world deeply affected as well.

As humans we instinctively strive to sort out turmoil and transform our world into something stable and meaningful for ourselves. We need a sense of a safety and connection so we can function and stay engaged fully in our lives.

As Bernhard Kempler, PhD says, “ The issue of "resilience" comes up powerfully when we are faced with extreme situations, situations for which we have had little or no occasion to develop adaptive mechanisms. How does our psyche withstand such outrageous attacks as war, criminal violation, brutality, and even life threatening illness?”