The Cracked PotWritten by Mark Susnow
Some experiences you never forget. In some of them there is great learning. Many years ago I had such an experience that remains with me to this day. It shows up in so many areas of my life. To begin with I like to perform. I was a trial lawyer for 30 years and have been a musician since I was seven. Most people would say I am comfortable in front of people. But even now, whenever I'm in front of people, there is an inner conversation going on that I do not want to have. It is always a variation of "can I do it" or "will it be good enough." This experience occurred when I participated in a weekend workshop sponsored by Actors Institute which was designed to increase one's ability to give better presentations. The participants included actors, musicians, comedians, lawyers and politicians. After a long weekend of exercises designed to "stretch" us we were required to give our presentation. We then critiqued our own and each others performance. Without exception, our critique of our own presentation was much harsher than groups. The instructor commented that if we had to hire ourselves we would never get a job! We are so hard on ourselves. The truth is, in process of trying to be perfect, we often focus on our imperfections and sometimes that is all we see. Because of this fear of being imperfect, we procrastinate and agonize over seemingly easy tasks. My wife Annie reminded me of a story that illustrates this point. The master lived quite a distance from stream. Every day his servant, water bearer, would walk from his master's house to stream with two large pots, each hung on opposite ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at end of walk, while other pot had a crack in it and arrived only half full. This went on for a full two years and perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, but poor cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfections and of fact that it was only able to accomplish half of what it had been made to do. Finally cracked pot summoned up enough courage to have its own conversation with water bearer. It went something like this. " I am ashamed and I want to apologize to you for I have let you down. Because of my flaws you have had to do twice as much work." But water bearer would have nothing of this conversation. "Did you notice beautiful wild flowers along path and did you notice that these beautiful flowers were only on your side of path?" That's because I have always known of your flaws and I took advantage of them and planted flower seeds on your side of path and every day you watered them. And these beautiful flowers that you have watered everyday grace master's table. Without you being just way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
| | Lessons from Hurricane FabianWritten by Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, The EQ Coach
My friend, Sue Johnston, MBA, ABC, is a certified EQ coach living in Bermuda. She just sent me an email about hurricane Fabian – worst hurricane to hit island of Bermuda in 50 years.She wrote about how terrifying it was to know it was coming and knowing it would be closer and stronger than anything anyone they knew had ever experienced. “One of local hotels,” she wrote, “was serving a cocktail called Fabian - little umbrellas were turned inside out. You have to do your best to keep it light, while staying careful. We're in middle of ocean. There's nowhere to go. We can't drive out of danger. There's nothing you can do but make sure nobody's alone, close your shutters, count on your optimism and resilience, and ride it out. Just another EQ opportunity, eh?”
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