Ahhh romanceÖ that elusive experience that comes and goes. When we have it we think it will last forever, when we donít we worry that it will never come again. It is an experience that so many crave yet have had so little of in their lives.
True romance feels good. It should not frighten you. If it does not feel good to you then you are confusing romance with all bad things that happens in dysfunctional relationships.
Do you remember how good it feels when you begin falling in love with someone? The intensity of these good feelings come from our connection with our Source, from many spiritual beings, including our own Inner Being, radiating their enthusiasm and excitement that we have found our heartís desire. This is why they are so powerful.
Good feelings always result from being in alignment with whole of our being and what we have been asking for. If you already have romance in your life, whether it is a new relationship or one that you have had for a while, you are in a very good place. Your dominant vibration is one of great happiness, great joy and great passion.
That means you have an incredible connection with your source. You should understand that this is responsible for many of other wonderful things that are falling into place in your life right now.
If you donít have romance in your life, but you want it, then you are going to have to bring yourself to that place. You are going to have to romance yourself. You are going to have to treat yourself wonderfully and give yourself love and nurturing and caring and bring yourself into a place of great joy and passion for life.
Who wants to be around a sourpuss? No one. Who wants to be around someone with misery in their life? Very few people want that. If they do want that in their life, do you want them in yours?
So you have to take care of yourself. Look after yourself. Nurture and love yourself, take yourself out to dinner. Buy yourself wonderful things. Look in mirror and flirt with yourself. Challenge negative messages others have given you. Find things within you that contradict those negative messages. You need to feel loveable for someone to want to love you and for you to let it in.
If you are in a relationship now and it does not have romance elements in it that you want or you want more from it, then you are one who is going to have to create that. You are going to have to make yourself more available for that. You are going to have to treat yourself better so that you are in a better feeling place so that you are more attractive to your partner. And if this does not re-kindle fire in heart of your partner it will repel them and attract one that is better suited to who you are now.
Romance is about relationships and getting to know another person. It is about discovery of your own beauty through eyes of an attentive other. Part of what makes it feel good, of what keeps you open to receiving, is your recognition of qualities that you appreciate in this other person. It is your focus on beauty you find in them.
What makes Romance go bad? When does it stop feeling good and start feeling bad? When you discover and focus on things you do not like in this other person. These bad feelings are an indication that you are focused on something that you do not want. They are an indication that you are pinching off your connection with your life giving, energizing, All Knowing and All Seeing Source.
Does pinching off your Source sound like something you want to do? It is not because you or they have done something bad that you are cut off from your Source. It is your focus on what you do not want cuts you off from your Source.
This article is not intended to address how to deal with dramatically abusive things that happen in some relationships. If you need that kind of help then please seek appropriate counseling. The concepts addressed here will help, but you will also need help understanding how so many of ideas that you hold about life keep you from happiness you seek.
Most relationships suffer from a break down in focus way before any of more serious problems occur. One event at a time each person notices something they donít like in their partner. Then they focus on it and make it a little bigger.
When you worry about something your partner did or does, and you tell others about how annoying it is, you are focusing your attention on it and you are shifting your vibration so that it matches those same unwanted behaviors. You are actually turning yourself into a magnet for more such experiences.
Not only that but if you are telling others about it you are probably setting up resentments in them towards your partner. So now there are two people holding negative energy towards your partner. Your friend may even begin to distance themselves from you because of negative energy they perceive that you are making them feel. Can you see how this would affect you? Can you see how this is not romantic energy you will be feeling, or even open to feeling if you are holding such thoughts in your mind? Can you see how this would affect your partner?