Word count: 568 Format: 60 character word wrap Resource Box: 4-lines+web address Keywords: Goals, goal seeking, success

Description: Just trying harder to reach a goal may seem promising. But trying harder is often worse possible way to pursue a goal.

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The Big, Fat Lie... About "Trying Harder!" By Jill Ammon-Wexler, PhD © 2003 by Jill Ammon-Wexler. All Rights Reserved =======================================

You've been searching for a way to improve your life. To make your business more profitable...maybe lose weight and buff up...achieve your personal potential...or perhaps build an MLM downline! In short...to reach an important personal goal!

You're on a meaningful quest! But if you're running into problems...it may come from something you were taught as a child!

Do you remember being told: "Just try harder...you'll get it!"

Well...that advice is actually worst possible advice to drill into a child's head. Are you surprised to hear that from a success coach? Then allow me to share a true personal story.

I'm sitting in a screened porch in a peaceful little cabin by shore of Lake Tahoe reading a book. It's a warm late August afternoon. It's very quiet...except for an irritating "buzz-thump."

I look up and see a large fly desperately throwing itself at window at far end of porch. The fly has staked its life on a doomed strategy: Just try harder...try harder...try harder!

Obviously...the fly's goal seeking behavior is not working! Its efforts hold no hope for success. No matter how hard it throws itself at glass, it can't escape.

I watch and wonder at irony of its situation. The little creature has literally staked its life on reaching its goal through determined raw effort! But its very struggle is a trap!

by Doug C. Grant

"Been setting a lot of goals for us, have you?"

I had just finished a session of goal setting and was feeling rather good about where I was going and what I intended to accomplish. Then came i-mail from Other-Self. An i-mail is like an e-mail except it arrives internally, can't be ignored and doesn't have a delete button.

I looked at my goal sheet again and smiled. "Yes...I think even you will have to agree that these represent a worthwhile plan for my future."

"I would if I could see some overall purpose behind them."

"Purpose! What do you mean, PURPOSE? They're covered with purpose."

"Such as?"

"Success! Financial prosperity! Fulfillment! Get with program. It's stuff of life."

"I couldn't agree less."

This really unplugged my wires. Sometimes Other-Self can be so completely no-where that I question if he's part of me. "All right...let's take this slow and easy. Are you telling me that you don't think success, money, fulfillment and all that good stuff amounts to anything?"

"I don't recall having said that at all. I was simply observing that ‛good stuff', as you call it, doesn't amount to a whistle in wind without a purpose behind it."

"I think I left you behind somewhere. Success IS a purpose. Money IS a purpose."

"Wrong as usual. They may be goals but they are not a purpose."

"Sounds to me like we're having an argument over words."

"Not at all. Let me ask you a few questions. Why did you choose goals that you did? What else should or could you be doing with your life? Where are you going? For that matter, where did you come from?"

"Oh...now I get it. This is one of your feet off ground head in sky discussions. Sorry...I'm not feeling very high-minded today."