The Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach

While we all, at some level, understand that we’re motivated by pain and pleasure, it’s amazing how we can learn, especially in our Western culture, to ignorerepparttar concomitant fact that moving toward pleasure makes us feel good, and is good for our health, while moving toward pain doesrepparttar 126125 opposite.

Yes, “no pain no gain” has its place. It fits for cognitive learning experiences, like struggling to learn a new language, or new theory; and physical endeavors, like weight lifting and increasing your ability to jog, but when it comes to emotional experiences, we don’t benefit fromrepparttar 126126 negative. It takes a tremendous toll.

One ofrepparttar 126127 immediate goals of emotional intelligence is to increase your self-awareness. Not torepparttar 126128 point where you spend all your time analyzing yourself and looking inward, but enough so you can assess quickly your emotional states, and, more importantly,repparttar 126129 cost they have for you.


Atrepparttar 126130 rudimentary level, you can learn by asking yourself several times a day, “How am I feeling?” Don’t answer it superficially, but rather atrepparttar 126131 level of how you’re feeling physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. In this way, you can learnrepparttar 126132 physiological signals to your own emotions. For instance, I have talked with people who didn’t realize their stomach was “in knots” because it always had been, and that’srepparttar 126133 way they thought it should be. Or you may not connect that sudden pain in your neck withrepparttar 126134 proper antecedent. I remember driving back to town with a friend after a weekend away, and as we got closer to home, she started talking about her boyfriend, and not in very positive ways. As she did, she started stroking, twisting and ‘cracking’ her neck, which was evidently getting tighter due torepparttar 126135 fact that her boyfriend was sounding to me, at any rate, likerepparttar 126136 proverbial “pain inrepparttar 126137 neck,” though she wasn’t aware of it until I putrepparttar 126138 two together for her. Up to that point inrepparttar 126139 trip she had been pain-free. This is not a good sign re:repparttar 126140 relationship!


When you begin to recognizerepparttar 126141 physical signs quickly, you can do what it takes to protect yourself. We say that certain people “drain us,” and this means drain important energy we could be using elsewhere to better advantage.


The next step is to ask yourself WHY you feel that way. Emotions are often complex and when you learn to sort through them, you find that some variables that contribute to them can be changed or avoided, such as being too hot, or too lonely; but that in other cases, there’s nothing you can change, such as a person or situation that continually drains your energy. No matter how else you’re feeling, even if you’re completely rested and feeling great, you find this person or situation always hasrepparttar 126142 same result. In that case, ifrepparttar 126143 toll is high, and you payrepparttar 126144 price every time,repparttar 126145 wise choice would be to eliminate this situation or person.

How Distressing is Social Phobia?

Written by Michael G. Rayel, MD

I remember a friend in college who would blush, sweat, and tremble when required by a teacher to speak in class. A few weeks beforerepparttar presentation, he’d be anxious, agitated, and couldn’t sleep. Because I was still a student then, I didn’t have any clue what he was going through. But I knew that something was terribly wrong.

A few years ago while inrepparttar 126124 airport, I noticed a man who’d wait for everyone to leaverepparttar 126125 washroom before he’d userepparttar 126126 urinal. He wasn’t comfortable that someone would see him urinate.

In retrospect, I can say (now that I’m a psychiatrist) that those two individuals might have suffered from Social Phobia or Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). I just hope that they are doing well now butrepparttar 126127 symptoms that they manifested atrepparttar 126128 time were consistent with this devastating illness.

How bad is Social Phobia or SAD?

Social Phobia or SAD is a type of anxiety disorder characterized by extreme fear, anxiety, or distress when exposed to a social gathering or when doing something before a group of people.

Public speaking isrepparttar 126129 most common situation that exposesrepparttar 126130 individual’s social fears. An individual suffering from this disorder develops significant anxiety symptoms such as sweating, fast heart beat, tremulousness, and restlessness when making a presentation or giving a minor talk. Even small corporate or committee meetings can cause grave distress.

Urinating in public washrooms, eating in fast food restaurants, writing in front of people or signing documents in a bank can also trigger feelings of fear and discomfort. Individuals with this illness are preoccupied with being embarrassed or criticized by others. Some patients feel that people are so focused on them and are only waiting for blunders to happen.

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