The Active Role of Silence

Written by Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, Emotional Intelligence Coach


It’s kind of Zen-like to say this, but one ofrepparttar most important parts of any conversation isrepparttar 130226 silence. Silence can serve many functions in a conversation and how you manage it determines your level of sophistication in communication.

Here are some points to keep in mind about silence in communication.

1.Allowing silence in a conversation puts pressure onrepparttar 130227 other person.

Why? Because it’s conventional in US society not to allow any sort of extended silence in a conversation. It is common in some cultures to do this, but not inrepparttar 130228 US, and this use of silence is one ofrepparttar 130229 things that can cause multicultural strain.

For instance, in some cultures, if you are a young person and want to talk with a person to talk with a person of authority, you are expected to approach them and wait to be recognized. You aren’t supposed to speak until you are acknowledged. This sort of silence is a sign of respect. It’s akin to, “Children should be seen and not heard,” if you remember that phrase from long ago.

However, in conversation between two peers and equals, it’s expected both parties will contribute torepparttar 130230 conversation, and there will no glaring silences. If there are any, it causes discomfort – in some cases even physiological pain.

This is one tool that some therapists use. Allowing silence to exist betweenrepparttar 130231 therapist andrepparttar 130232 client, put pressures onrepparttar 130233 client to say something. This is also a tool investigators use. When you’re subjected to this sort of silence, it feels like pressure, and you’re likely to blurt something out! And it can often berepparttar 130234 one thing you don’t want to say.

Therefore some people in power use this ploy, such as an interviewer. An experienced interviewer may let a silence hang, just to see howrepparttar 130235 person being interviewed conducts him or herself.

2.Silence can indicate hostility or disagreement.

While it’s almost never an indication of indifference, silence can indicate thatrepparttar 130236 other person is having negative emotions. When we experience anger, fear, or embarrassment, our thinking brain shuts down. We sit there fuming, unable to speak. Enraged and unable to find words. Afraid and scared speechless.

Some people are completely “flooded” by such emotions. Think of a teenager, for instance. They are prone to withdraw into sullen silence rather than using constructive discontent techniques, talking it out, and keepingrepparttar 130237 connection going.

3.Silence can indicate profoundness, such as respect, awe or horror.

Sometimes when we’re listening to someone else, we hear something that leaves us speechless because it really goes beyond words. Listening to someone talk about a dreadful trauma they’ve endured, or a beautiful, almost-sacred interaction with another human being, or a description of an awesome natural event such as a sunset or a volcano eruption are examples. Somehow when we listen to such things,repparttar 130238 ordinary “Oh” and “Wow” and “That’s awesome” don’t seem enough, and so we fall silent.

4.Silence can indicate contemplation.

NOBODY'S PERFECT

Written by Dave Stephenson


Being human is being fallible. Evolution determines that we all are naturally different. The one constant in our lives and nature is that things will change. A feature or solution that seemed perfect a moment ago isn't now - because everything is constantly changing to solve current problems. Perfection cannot be achieved because of change. This doesn't mean we can't accomplish things. All we need to do is what's good enough, accept that things can never be perfect and then move on.

The aim to be perfect stops people finishing undertakings, and also prevents them even starting. Their endeavor to do something perfectly necessities repetitive attention and tweaking. Their impossible standards mean that they need to spend forever to finish something. The fear of not being able to complete something perfectly prevents them starting.

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