Thousands of years ago and miles away in Ancient Greece, Heraclites, a wise man known in west as “Heraclites Dark”, said, “Although this truth [self-awareness] is eternally valid, men are unable to understand it. Not only before hearing it but even after they have heard it.” His words are so true.

Great leaders are not afraid of listening to truth. They actually demand this from their mentors, friends, partners and, most importantly, themselves. They know that if they do not hear whole truth about way they act and behave they will never excel. Now, let me ask you this: if great leaders recognize that they constantly need to open their ears and hearts to self-awareness in order to find success, why is it so difficult for us to do same?

First, why is it so difficult to see our own shortcomings? And second, why don’t we simply eliminate things that block our way to success? There is not an easy answer for either question. There are several common things that keep us from achieving excellence. If these are handled properly, we free ourselves for betterment in all areas of life.

Lack of Forgiveness - The inability to forgive yourself and others is one of greatest energy wasters that you can have. Robert, a successful business owner and a dear client of mine, struggled with a poor decision he made four years earlier. He could never forgive himself for losing a lot of money in his business. However, once he embraced fact that even imperfect decisions could result in something good he was able to refocus and move forward with confidence. Robert lost almost a million dollars, but he managed to build a $20 million business within next three years. Self-forgiveness allowed him to move on and learn from his painful life lesson.

Damaging Habits – Habits are generally viewed as actions: smoking, drinking, self-doubt. However, one of most damaging habits (or rituals) is procrastination. This is number one killer of dreams. Like most habits, procrastination can be difficult to overcome. Here’s help. Ask yourself following questions. “Why am I procrastinating on decision?” “What am I feeling that prevents me from moving ahead?” “What will ultimately happen if I do not eliminate procrastination from my life?” “If I do eliminate procrastination, how much more joy will I have?” “How will it make my life better?” Make a conscious commitment to start eliminating this, and other damaging habits, today.

Recently, I was asked to facilitate a meeting and offer coaching to 20 executive members at a company’s strategic conference. As I sat quietly and observed everyone in room, I began to notice that all conversations seemed to revolve around placing blame.

Can you picture setting? A long oval office with 20 people, separated in 3 departments, and each of them pointing fingers when asked why things weren’t progressing as planned. I must admit that sitting at this gathering revived my memories of being a corporate refugee. Now, as if this experience was not enough, very next day I heard same scenario from an entrepreneur I was coaching.

To make matters worse, at end of that same day, I caught myself playing my own blame game! It was a revelation for me and even though my intellectual mind knew that blaming others for my circumstances was not a healthy habit, I ended up doing it anyway. Why do we do this? What positive result does it bring? Why is it so hard to stop? Wouldn’t we be better off if we ceased and desisted? I reflected a bit on my own blaming pattern and was able to find some interesting correlation to results that I want to have and results I was receiving.

Blaming others is one of worst things you can do in relation to emotional integrity. It is distantly related to an addiction. Pretty soon almost everything that does not happen according to your liking becomes someone else’s fault.

If you want to become a progressive leader - if excellence and success is your motto in life - then blaming others cannot be tolerated. Once I reached this firm realization, I implemented several steps to help me overcome blaming addiction and take responsibility for myself.

1.Be aware. Too often we fail to notice that we are playing blame game. It’s a natural defense mechanism. Paying attention to how we respond when questioned about our actions or performance is first step in taking responsibility.

2.Respond responsibly. Just as blaming is a defensive move, so is reacting. Rather than react – we should respond. While we might want to react immediately with a burst of anger, stop and consider choices. We have a choice of reacting impulsively or responding cautiously to situation. What will your choice be?