The 3 Key Components to Any Successful ChangeWritten by Mary Ann Bailey
We live in a world that is constantly bombarding us with changes. One would think that with all that practice, we would be fairly adept at navigating change process. But truth of matter is, making any kind of intentional change in our life can be difficult. When we decide to change something in our lives, we make decision to swap out old and familiar for something new and unknown. This upsets our equilibrium and can be frightening and somewhat disorienting. But we can lessen these feelings of uncertainty, and ensure ourselves a greater chance of success, if we initially take time to address 3 key components necessary for any successful change. These components are: commitment, competence, and structure. COMMITMENT: Most of us believe when we decide to make a change in our lives that we are fully committed to doing what it takes to make that change happen. But commitment can be a tricky thing. There can be part of us who is truly committed to change, while there may be other parts of us who have no desire to change. This phenomenon is known as having "competing commitments". Competing commitments create resistance; and having to deal with resistance is what often causes us to give up before we reach our goal. Example: Megan wants to start an exercise program to lose weight and increase her energy level. She signs up for a class at health club and is excited about getting started. The first few mornings go well, but then she begins to notice that her enthusiasm is waning. Megan begins to sabotage her progress by skipping classes and telling herself that her instructor isn’t really sensitive to her needs. She feels that she is still committed to losing weight and does not really understand where her resistance is coming from. Resistance is red flag for competing commitments. In Megan's case competing commitment turned out to be her desire to spend time with her friends. She had a weekly get-together that she assumed she no longer could attend because she had to get up early in morning to exercise. Megan saw her dilemma as an either/or situation. She believed that she would have to give up one activity in order to have other. Once she realized that that wasn’t actually true – that her friends would be willing to change their meeting time – Megan began to relax and her resistance disappeared. COMPETENCE: The second key element is competence. Competence means having skills necessary to make change happen, or having time, energy, and ability needed to acquire skill. Example: Lucy was having trouble at work with one of her workers, Kris. Every time Lucy would try and talk to Kris about her negative attitude, conversation would end up very heated and both women would leave feeling upset and unheard.
| | The Secret of Life Is to Get On BoardWritten by Mary Ann Bailey
One of this year's box office hits was movie, Polar Express. It's a wonderful story about power of believing. It is Christmas Eve and a little boy waits in his bed hoping to hear bells of Santa's sleigh. As he anxiously waits for reindeer to appear, a mysterious train pulls up in front of his house and conductor invites him on board. The train is Polar Express, and it is headed to North Pole. As story unfolds, we learn that, "It doesn't matter where train is going. What is important is deciding to get on." It is a gentle reminder to us all of how important it is to believe and follow our dreams. Standing on Platform How many trains have you let go by in your life because you were uncertain of where they were going? How often have you found yourself standing on station platform watching trains come and go, trying to decide which one was right one for you? There you stand, frozen in indecision, as world passes you by. In order to keep growing and learning, we need to keep our lives moving. Water that doesn't run becomes stagnant, and same is true of our lives. We need to be willing to try new things and be open to new experiences. We also need to trust that process of life will take us to where we want to go if we remain aware and take advantage of possibilities and opportunities that are constantly being put in front of us. Jen was in process of finding a new job. She was a college professor who had been recently laid off. She had been in education for a while, and although she had several other professional interests, she was having a difficult time actually visualizing herself in any other field. As Jen stood on station platform, only trains that she felt comfortable boarding were ones that were heading toward academic world. But is that where she truly wanted to go? On other hand, trains that were headed in different directions were too scary to board. So, she felt completely stuck, unable to move in any direction. Getting on Board Jen soon realized that taking any train would serve her better than just sitting on platform, so she took a leap of faith and decided to board next train that came along. This train took her to an informational interview with head of local environment group.
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