For purpose of illustration, let's use superhighway analogy. Let's think of your business as a hotdog stand located on superhighway along with millions of other shops, malls, cafes, stores, restaurants and, yes, hotdog stands. _____________

GREAT MYTH 1: Free Sells

So your hotdog stand offers something for free... what?

Napkins? Great. Wow. Excellent. But remember, sell sizzle, not steak! So what excites you most about napkins?

Are they printed with horoscopes? Are they recyclable? Extra absorbent? Two ply? Then say so!

But remember that your freebie is kinda lame and everybody kinda knows it and nobody is really forking over actual cash out of gratitude for free napkins.

MORAL: Free is highly over-rated. _____________

GREAT MYTH 2: All Traffic is Good Traffic

It would be more accurate to say that MOST traffic is POTENTIALLY good.

If you have a hotdog stand, virtually anyone can be converted to a customer, whether they came for your ridiculously excellent napkins, clean washrooms, or snappy banter.

But, if you sell '82 LeSabre windshield wiper screws, then you might want to be a little more targeted in your efforts.

MORAL: Focus. Focus. Focus. _____________

GREAT MYTH 3: All Businesses Should Be On Net

The best advice I've ever given as an internet marketer was "Stay off net."

Nobody listens, of course. They know that internet is fabled El Dorado where rivers run gold and cash is common as dust-bunnies.

(Maybe local bait shop owner just thought I wanted it all for myself.)

MORAL: Leap before you look, quoth lemming. _____________

GREAT MYTH 4: Drive Your Hit Counters Insane!

Hit counters don't actually go insane... netrepreneurs do. If you want your hit counter to go insane, tell it about your childhood.

Any traffic generating trick that works will stop working next week when everyone is doing it and no one is falling for it.

MORAL: Tricks are for dogs. _____________

GREAT MYTH 5: The Great Marketing Secret!

Oxymoron.

And me? I'm your customer. Maybe.

The Through-A-Goose School of Internet Marketing holds that certain e-commerce websites would be better off streamlining their designs so they can fast-track visitors through sales process and send them on their way rather than befuddling them with a dizzying array of branding gimmicks and sticky-site gadgets... and sending them on their way.

Once you're in a goose's system, thinking goes, there's only one way out. There are no options or choices, no weighty decisions, no wrong turns, no time for doubt, no chance of error. In and out. Zip zam zooey.

A goosed website should be just as slick. The process should be so smooth and fast that actual purchase practically precedes decision to purchase.

In this light, here are ten thoughts about your vacuum bag website that threaten to keep our relationship from blossoming into a completed transaction:

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1. OVER-STRETCHED METAPHORS

It's not ~really~ a mall or a store or even a kiosk. If anything, it's an interactive brochure. If it starts talking or playing music, I get scared and run away. And that off-the-shelf flash intro doesn't really get my vacuum bag juices flowing either.

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2. OFF-TOPIC BET-HEDGING

Do I follow that online casino banner after I buy my vacuum bags? Or shall I risk blowing my entire twelve dollar vacuum bag budget there?

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3. OOZING NEEDINESS

You seem a little too happy to see me. I'm worried that if I buy something from you, you'll invite me home for supper with wife and kids. That's more commitment than I care to make for vacuum bags.

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4. RABID INFO-SUCK

You're assaulting me with pop-up windows because you want my email address so you can inform me when you make changes to your vacuum bag website. Do I have that right?

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5. LIMP USP