This is why we'd like to share our gift giving philosophy: Focus on "The Who". No, no, no... not band. Don't go giving someone a "the who" t-shirt. (Unless, of course, they are a fan of Pete Townhsend.) What we mean is... who is recipient? Who are you giving to? And we don't mean their name. You need to know about this person. You can't give a great gift without knowing that. It's helpful to have a general idea of what they like, and better to know some specifics details about their life and personality. It's also useful to know what they dislike (to avoid "wrong" gift).

For your own, self-made help with gifts, ask yourself: Where do they work? Do they like what they do for a living? How do they spend their day? Their night? Their free time? Do they have any hobbies? Where do they live? What kind of car do they drive? Are they married? Do they have any kids? What about pets?

God must love Top Ten lists because she made so many of them. They crowd my Inbox daily. They’re right up there in popularity with offers to refinance my house and stock up on Viagra. Top Nine Lists are few and far between and Top Eleven lists unheard of. But for seem reason there seem to be ten nifty answers to pretty much any problem or life situation you can come up with.

In search of my own Top Ten favorites I had a hard time coming up with something that hadn’t already been worked over. There seems to be a plethora of Top Ten lists designed to pump us up; increase our confidence and build self esteem. So I thought it would be nice to let some of air out. So here are my:

Top Ten Things to Build a Bridge and Get Over.

1.Nobody knows why anybody does anything. Imagine time this one will free up. You don’t need to figure out what happened to Aunt Bertha as a child to make her so mean and crabby; why your s.o. dumped you; why your neighbor ignores you. We humans are a product of our upbringing; environment, genetics and hormones. We do what we do when we do it. Let it go. Don’t take it personally.

2.Nobody owes you a thing. When you think about all time, love and attention it took to get where you are today you’ll see that you can never repay debt. Your mother and father who raised you; your teachers who pushed and believed in you; your friends who supported you; your community which nurtures you. Question is – what have you given back in return?