Ten Ways To Make Peace With The Past And Create A New Future

Written by Suzanne Gold

Everyone comes into life with a purpose. You are a unique expression ofrepparttar universal life force atrepparttar 126074 foundation of your physical form. Spirit guides you fromrepparttar 126075 moment your life begins, andrepparttar 126076 people and events of your life reflect your spirit's journey. No one else ever has or will affectrepparttar 126077 world as you do. With every act, word or thought, you are adding to All-That-Is.

Your family is your first and most influential bond. What you learn from them colorsrepparttar 126078 the way you see yourself andrepparttar 126079 world. As a child, your physical helplessness makes you dependent onrepparttar 126080 people closest to you for survival. Too often those relationships are destructive instead of supportive. The family you join already has tendencies: patterns, beliefs, and attitudes which they expect you to share. Going along gets you what you need, so you adapt to fit in. But when you ignore your instincts, you don't feel right. You createrepparttar 126081 opposite of what you intend.

The good news is you don't have to be a victim of your upbringing. Although patterns learned in your family can crush your self-esteem, confuse you, and wreck your relationships,repparttar 126082 distortion of your natural instincts can be reversed. Your problems can show you what you don't want and inspire you to go after what you'd rather have, so you can set yourself free to becomerepparttar 126083 person you want to be and createrepparttar 126084 life you dream of.

You make peace withrepparttar 126085 past by treating difficult situations, thoughts, and feelings as opportunities to unravelrepparttar 126086 knots in your heart and mind that keep you from realizing your dreams. You create a new future by drawing on your innate wisdom to help you overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. When you do your best, you tap into a power that's been within you all along, in evenrepparttar 126087 worst circumstances, even when you weren't aware of it.

No matter what happens, trust that what you go through will enlighten you. Don't be discouraged. The most important thing is dedication to trying new things and learning from your experience. Change doesn't happen overnight—it comes little by little, more and more, deepening your ability to love, create, and make a difference personally and in society.

So how do you go about doing this? Here are ten ways to spark change in your life and relationships: 

1. SET A NEW COURSE Finding your own preferences

Your new course is first an internal one, which pavesrepparttar 126088 way for external changes. If you're not satisfied with your life as it is, start by imagining that it can get better. What happens in your life is largely up to you, so make it a priority to figure out how to create what you want. Take time every day to think about what you want. Be willing to try new things. Pay close attention to ideas and feelings that light you up. Courage is accepting reality as it is and working with it to create what you want. Allow yourself to feel excited about your possibilities. What you dedicate yourself to, you can create.

2. TRUST YOUR INTUITION Tapping into your inner wisdom

When you hearrepparttar 126089 "little voice of wisdom" inside, listen. Within you is a guidance system that makes itself known through your ideas and emotions. Trust it. Life can be confusing, and some people do try to manipulate you in devious ways. If something doesn't feel right, it may mean that it's not for you. Wonder about why not, and what you'd like instead. Give yourselfrepparttar 126090 benefit ofrepparttar 126091 doubt. Your instinct leads you to where you need to go atrepparttar 126092 perfect moment forrepparttar 126093 best results. Stand your ground. Believe in yourself inrepparttar 126094 face of criticism. No one else can tell you what you need or want. Have good intentions. Don't second-guess yourself. Do what you think is best atrepparttar 126095 moment.

3. LOOK FOR A SILVER LINING Developing a positive attitude

Spirit underlies everything. You are part ofrepparttar 126096 universal creative energy. You didn't come here to prove your worth or to find a problem and fix it. You came to express your talents and abilities, to realize your dreams. What you experience depends on how you look at it. How you interpret things plays a large part in shaping your behavior and how others treat you. Search forrepparttar 126097 positive. Focusing onrepparttar 126098 negative dulls your energy and ability to cope. No matter how bad a situation seems, find something in it to appreciate. Ask yourself, what good could come from this? What can I learn here? The answers you get show you what to do next. You already have inside yourepparttar 126099 resources to make peace withrepparttar 126100 past and create a new future. You just have to learn how to use them.

4. TAKE A STEP BACK Separating motivation from unconscious patterns

Be onrepparttar 126101 lookout for destructive habitual patterns. Noticing isrepparttar 126102 first step to breaking them. Don't fight them, just observe your thoughts and feelings. The deeper you go,repparttar 126103 more you unravelrepparttar 126104 stuck places in your heart and mind. Bring spirit intorepparttar 126105 process by inviting metaphysical help in any form that works for you. Be influenced by others' opinions only if they inspire you. Criticism may be only an automatic response based inrepparttar 126106 critic's own fears. You don't have to convince anyone of your right to have your life as you want it.

5. WATCH WHAT YOU SAY Developing effective communication

Can You be an Optimistic Realist?

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Life & EQ Coach

One question you might have when you read this title is, “Why I want to be an optimist?” Or, even, “How could I be optimistic with liferepparttar way it is?” or “Who could be an optimist in today’s world?

And “today’s world” may mean to you that office you work in that’s so hopelessly understaffed and disorganized, or your inept boss, or terrorism, starvation and violence inrepparttar 126073 world, your personal inadequacies for facing your personal challenges,repparttar 126074 lack of help aroundrepparttar 126075 house, your hyper 2 year old twin boys, spending your days reeling amongrepparttar 126076 emotional states of your teenagers, your midlife-crisis spouse, and your aging mother, or any ofrepparttar 126077 above.

I was reminded of this dilemma when I was corneredrepparttar 126078 other morning by a young woman who needed to get in my face aboutrepparttar 126079 fact that her husband had gotten in her face that morning aboutrepparttar 126080 “idiocy” of watchingrepparttar 126081 Prince Charles thing when there were more important things going on inrepparttar 126082 world.

Byrepparttar 126083 end of his tirade he had listed terrorism, cancer,repparttar 126084 national budget crisis, andrepparttar 126085 legal system as things more worthy of our attention that were, atrepparttar 126086 same time, hopelessly screwed up. Byrepparttar 126087 end of his tirade, her husband’s “pessimistic attitude” had been added torepparttar 126088 list, as having “ruined” her day. And, had I allowed it, I could’ve added torepparttar 126089 list that her retelling ofrepparttar 126090 war story had “ruined” mine.

Let’s face it: it’s easier to be cynical. It’s also more realistic to be cynical.

If you’rerepparttar 126091 kind of person who has a need to be right, betting thatrepparttar 126092 work project will be screwed up, thatrepparttar 126093 marriage will never last, and that Bush will make another decision that will fail to makerepparttar 126094 world perfect are surer bets thanrepparttar 126095 opposite.

And so, if you’re negative and pessimistic, you’ll more often be right. But look at what else you’ll get: you’ll attract to yourself people who feelrepparttar 126096 same way and will join you in a negative downward spiral; you’ll be quick to blame anything but yourself, leaving yourself feeling hopeless and helpless as well as angry; you’ll waste a lot of time belaboringrepparttar 126097 obvious; and you’ll also stress yourself and your immune system.

Negative thinking leads to negative emotions which bring on physiological reactions which can damage your health inrepparttar 126098 short-term and inrepparttar 126099 long-term. Being optimistic doesn’t mean not being realistic.

It means making choices that influence outcomes, because they can also be self-fulfilling. If you’re sure your secretary is going to fail you again, she will. We are all influenced byrepparttar 126100 energy around us, and who can function when someone is hovering around them who thinks she or he is “an idiot”? Also, if you’re determined she will fail you, you must make that happen to defend your ego, and so what else can you think when it’s over? She failed you.

Realism would say – if you truly hiredrepparttar 126101 wrong person, don’t be a victim. Take care ofrepparttar 126102 problem.

If you hired a person who, like everyone else, has good days and bad, works in an imperfect system, has to try and read your mind and accommodate to your admittedly difficult disposition at times, and is over-worked, don’t playrepparttar 126103 victim – look atrepparttar 126104 system and see what you can do to make things work better, assuming (optimistically) that this is possible, i.e., things will never be perfect, but they can generally be improved upon, and YOU arerepparttar 126105 one to do it.

You could start, in that instance, with your own attitude and expectations.

In fact, if you want to makerepparttar 126106 world a better place, start with your secretary’s “world.” Get it?

Pragmatically speaking – that is, if you want to function inrepparttar 126107 real world – an optimistic view works better. It gives yourepparttar 126108 energy to make things happen, because it gives you positive emotional energy.

Functionally-speaking, it is wiser to be optimistic. Optimism is a tool, therefore. If you can still that voice in your head that says everything stinks, you can begin to see what you can do about things as they are, some of which, yes, “stink,” but not all.

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