Ten Top Autobiographical Steps From Saying “No” To Saying “Yes…”

Written by Mahalene Louis


Learning to say “no” appropriately is quite an initiation, often termed “having healthy boundaries.” How healthy are those “boundaries?” Defined as something that delineates a border or a limit, boundaries imply that you are on this side, while I am onrepparttar other. They are viewed as a protection. Yet, as long as I perceive a need for protection, am I not projecting attack? It reminds me of this man having constructed a barricade around his garden, to protect his carrots from being eaten by a sneaky rabbit, to only discover that he had enclosedrepparttar 123151 rabbit in his new designed fortress! What would it be like to live without boundaries, or sneaky eating rabbit inside me? The following are ten autobiographical steps to say “yes” and “no” authentically. Feel free to travel these steps with me: my story may just be your story!

1. I don’t say “no” when…

I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid… I am afraid she won’t like me, if I say “no” to her. I divide people between losers and winners. Adopting such perspective will inevitably make me concerned that I may lose something, be lost, and/or be viewed as a loser… That isrepparttar 123152 ultimate rejection, which is my greatest fear! I’d much rather please Aunt Adele and compromise, just to convince her that I am on her side, a winner. Anything not to be rejected!

2. I don’t say “no” when…

I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid… I am afraid I will end up unloved and all alone. I have to be a team player to be safe. Acceptation by my pears, reputation is what is foremost to me. My core belief is that it’s a jungle out there, and, that I would die if I were alone. Furthermore, I haverepparttar 123153 thought that my needs won’t be met unless I surround myself with people who are obligated to me. So I say “yes” to you, withrepparttar 123154 tacit agreement that, one day, you will say “yes” to me. Now we owe each other: Anything not to be alone!

3. I don’t say “no” when…

I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid… I am afraid to challengerepparttar 123155 status quo. I can’t say “no” to his demand. I don’t want to make waves. Good people don’t make waves. Good people don’t make noises. They don’t cause “trouble.” They just followrepparttar 123156 trend, and thenrepparttar 123157 next trend. Conditioning is good; it gives you a feeling of safety, of knowing where you are. Then you don’t have to make a decision, it is all decided for you! I don’t want to be disappointed, nor do I want to disappoint Grandma Julie. Traditions are good. Anything not to change.

4. I don’t say “no” when…

I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid… I am afraid to speak my truth, and sing my song: If I start showing up, rather to be a yes man, or a no woman, which are ultimatelyrepparttar 123158 two sides ofrepparttar 123159 same coin, then I will be looked as an heretic, an original, a loony, a rebel… I will have to leaverepparttar 123160 nest, and take on a larger domain of operation. That is way too much work! I much rather hide my truth, be a good girl, stuff my throat, thwart my expression, and do as Mommy wants, even if it kills me. Anything not to be responsible.

5. I don’t say “no” when…

I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid… I am afraid of how truth will change my life. I’d rather not inquire on who is speaking, who is runningrepparttar 123161 show, is itrepparttar 123162 small I orrepparttar 123163 Big I, is itrepparttar 123164 ego orrepparttar 123165 heart? If I were to say “no” to her, she would be in pain, and it would be my entire fault! If I were to say “no” to him, he will be hurt forrepparttar 123166 rest of his life. If I say “no” to them, they won’t have any other opportunity ever. It’s dark in there, in those negative scripts. It’s dark and it’s cold… Anything not to Turn onrepparttar 123167 Light!

Top Ten Tips For Having Fun Organizing

Written by Mahalene Louis


Hasrepparttar word “clutter” become a negative trigger for you? Do piles of papers or stacks of stuff invade and haunt your physical and mental space? Do you feel hopeless atrepparttar 123150 thought of filing or clearing? How about if your beliefs on creating order would “reorganize” themselves, in a Mary Poppins way, easily, effortlessly, and playfully, could you then conceive of not only getting organized, but also staying clutter free?

1. Play… Colors Colors are life, colors are fun! Each has a special message to give you, personally! Use them: take your child self on a shopping trip to an office place, and choose folders inrepparttar 123151 color that you likerepparttar 123152 most, be it a bright orange, a sophisticated teal, or a spirited violet. Play with this; maybe you want to have matching or contrasting colors for your hanging files folders… Let yourself start a brand new journey with your paper world, colored byrepparttar 123153 magic of a rainbow…

2. Play… Sant (Pleasant)

Along withrepparttar 123154 new appealing folders instilling joy and renewal and clearing old patterns, look atrepparttar 123155 objects that are in your décor, e.g. pencil cup, paper trays, lamps, etc… Do you like them? Do they make you smile each time you look at them? Framerepparttar 123156 photograph of your beloved with a frame that brings you pleasure, or invest inrepparttar 123157 slick metallic office set that you like! Those small investments will transform your mood, and thus your world…

3. Play… Business Guru

It is all about playing: create a fun ritual around your organizing sessions. Possibly go to a costume store, and buy yourself a pair of Groucho Marx’s glasses (withrepparttar 123158 mustache!) For 15 min. of organizing, put on those glasses, and pretend you are an organization expert, or a business guru. Have fun!

4. Play… Order Builder

Think of yourself as a Body Builder, and as organizing as your favorite workout. Do a set of 15 minutes. No more. Actually use an egg timer to make sure you are not overworking your order muscles… We wouldn’t want for you to be so exhausted tomorrow, and so sour you won’t touch your files for another month! Just commit to do a set for 15 minutes a day, five days a week! Easy… For each organizing set, treat yourself to a 15 minutes passion break, where you do something you are totally passionate about!

5. Play it… And Joy Will Come

This is my promise to you: since it is much harder to resist doing something than actually doing it, joy will flow to your heart after your very first session! After a week, you will truly relish in your accomplishment, and start seeing a path to your own freedom. A month will grant you a self-esteem that you never thought was possible! Not countingrepparttar 123159 greater effectiveness, andrepparttar 123160 satisfaction of knowing what you own, and where it is!

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