Holidays and
start of a new year inevitably make us think about how we can improve ourselves, and have life we want in future. We make resolutions - I must lose weight, I will save more money - and then lose our way. That's because we aren't matching our resolutions with who we are inside. We're more likely to succeed if we work on discovering our inner, Real selves, appreciate who we already are, and then take a chance on custom-made changes, not one-size-fit all resolutions. Here are ten tips for making new year better in a Real way.
1. Let your values be your guide -- There are plenty of people who will tell you what should be important to you, if you let them. Friends, co-workers, family, even mass media, bombard us with opinions and ideas. Don't just accept what others say. Decide for yourself what matters most and let those values set your course.
2. Take a long-term view -- Bad habits, difficult relationships, and other disappointments don't develop overnight. Similarly, life doesn't get better in a moment. Change happens slowly, step-by-step. Have patience to see it through.
3. Let Go of "Shoulds" -- When you were a kid, you needed grown-ups to tell you what was right and wrong and what you should do in a given situation. As an adult you can make these choices for yourself. "Shoulds" produce resentment and anger. Instead, do what you know in your heart is right, and set your own standards.
4. Define Yourself as Beautiful -- Fewer than five percent of us believe we are beautiful, but whenever I meet someone, I can see something beautiful in her right away. You may not fit mass media image of conventional, external beauty, but there are things that make you attractive. Remember, beauty is an inside job.
5. Let Go of Being Perfect -- As much as we hear that "nobody's perfect" it's awfully hard to believe. This is because what we constantly see in media are air-brushed images of people who appear perfect and we come to believe it is a reasonable goal. When we fall short of perfect, then we feel like failures, just for being ourselves. This year, why not just forget that whole concept and replace it with "I don't have to be perfect." The truth is, people who love you know that you have flaws and just don't care. You don't have to either...
