Most of us were brought up to study hard, get good grades, choose a "practical" college major, and strive for a "good job."

Talk to a stranded midlife career-changer and you realize game has changed. Yesterday's rules prepared us to be passengers on a large ocean liner that promised a smooth voyage. Today we realize that ocean liner turned out to be Titanic and we need to keep ourselves afloat on a small life raft if we want to survive.

Here are some tips to help your child learn not only to survive, but to thrive and grow in a chaotic world.

1. From first day of kindergarten, encourage your child to build on strengths rather than focus on limitations.

Does she spend hours studying models of cars for last twenty years? Maybe she'll become an auto mechanic -- or maybe she'll parlay her ability to classify detailed information into a career as a biologist or pharmacist.

2. Encourage your child to choose a field of study based on his or her natural abilities and passions, not "what will get me a job."

Claudia Kennedy, Army's first female three-star General, majored in philosophy. In her book Generally Speaking, she claims philosophy prepared her to become a top-level intelligence officer. Carly Fiorino, famed CEO of Hewlett-Packard, studied medieval history. And Michael Lewis, financial writer and best-selling author of Liars Poker, was an art history major.

3. Assure your children that few mistakes are fatal.

Did your child fail a course? Face rejection from a first-choice college? Most of us can't avoid an occasional failure, but we can learn bounce-back attitudes as soon as we can talk.

Yolanda Griffith, WNBA basketball star, dropped out of a premier program due to pregnancy. She returned to a lower-ranked college program, baby in tow, and now plays for Sacramento Monarchs.

"My job drives me crazy. I spend hours preparing a presentation and, when time comes, client wants to talk about something entirely different." -- Marvin

Hermione might enjoy many types of research or analysis -- anything from military intelligence to finance. She might be a planner -- anything from meetings to advertising strategy.

Marvin might prefer a structured environment, where he's rewarded for carrying out approved plans rather than showing initiative and spontaneity.

When clients say, "I've discovered a talent for..." or, "I have a strong need for..." I suggest they continue exploring options and opportunities. Talents and needs become part of checklist you construct to assess potential opportunities. They rarely allow you to make a firm decision. And often they act as red flags -- signaling what not to do, rather than offering direct guidance.