Teaching Children Good MannersWritten by Rexanne Mancini
Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that my children knew how to behave in nice restaurants because they had been exposed to atmosphere at an early age. My idea of well behaved might be different from yours, however, I think there are certain basics that are important and universal.When my daughters were babies, we would take them wherever we went. If they began to fuss or cry, one of us would promptly remove them from room/restaurant/market/wherever. Not because we felt their crying or fussing was a bad thing. No, it's a perfectly normal occurrence for infants and toddlers. We removed them as a courtesy to others who we felt did not need to be as tolerant as we were with our children's noise. In consequence, my daughters know that other people are not as wildly in love with their racket or with them as we are. Nor should they be expected to be. As our children grew older, they were always told rules of our outings, how to behave and to always speak softly if other adults were present. Sometimes, it's fine to let them get a little crazy ... just know your audience! If we are at a five star restaurant where many other diners have come to enjoy a gracious and expensive meal, would we expect everyone there to be enthralled with junior's vocal or behavioral outbursts? Would we really expect them to care if our child is having a bout with walking pneumonia and coughing uncontrollably? Nope. It's rude. And rudeness is basically nothing more than bad manners. If there is an emergency with your child, by all means don't give a flying flamingo about what others think. But this is exception. Besides, children who are that sick belong at home, not in public.
| | Potty Training - To Train or not to Train?Written by Rexanne Mancini
I have always found notion of toilet training a toddler to be a bit much. I didn't feel right about pushing my girls to do something I felt would eventually come naturally. At three years old, both my girls were potty trained ... not because I read books and raced them to porcelain each time I suspected they should go. They knew what potty was for. They knew when they had to go. They'd figure it out on their own! Well, by golly, they did! Sure, we went a little stupid each time they were successful users of throne and they got rewards and accolades just like kids who were put through a regimen of potty training tactics fit for Patton's soldiers. But we never made it a big issue in our house and, consequently, it never became an issue. I've known parents who felt they had to potty train their babies at two or even younger to enroll them in preschool. We, instead, found a great preschool that accepted kids in diapers. Their philosophy was that children who were still in diapers would naturally learn to go on potty by watching other kids go. I suppose it worked. I never really gave it much thought. Potty eureka just sort of happened around here on its own.
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