Tax Jokes and Quotes

Written by Richard A. Chapo

Tax Jokes and Quotes

Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?

Quote: “Two years ago it was impossible to get through on repparttar phone torepparttar 118079 IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress.” -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner

Disappointed that you never had time to writerepparttar 118080 great American novel? Don’t fret, just go dig out your past tax returns.

Quote: "The Eiffel Tower isrepparttar 118081 Empire State Building after taxes."

Underrepparttar 118082 Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request torepparttar 118083 IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, “There is now.”

Quote: “It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required.”

Q: Who audits IRS agents?

Quote: “Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.”

Q: How do you drive a CPA insane? A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.

Be Happy, Join The Wednesday Worry Club

Written by Rev. James L. Snyder

Of allrepparttar people who know me, no one would say I am afflicted with worryitis. They may say other things about me, which may or may not be true, but that's another story.

If you ask me, and nobody has, worry is just a waste of time that could be used more profitably. Every hour of worry takes away from an hour of happiness. There is absolutely no "rhyme or reason" to spend one moment worrying.

Actually, there is a little "rhyme," (it sounds more like rap than anything else), but I assure you there is absolutely no reason for it.

A friend has a cute motto he likes to call to mind; "Why worry when you can pray," which makes perfectly good sense. If we would spend time we would use to worry and pray, we would discover little to unduly concern us.

Very little in life causes me to agonize or be anxious. I have better use of my time than wasting it in such a useless employment carrying no benefits or retirement.

This has not always beenrepparttar 118078 case with me. Once, and not too long ago, I worried about everything. You name it, and I've worried about. My worry list was longer thanrepparttar 118079 list of promises of a politician running for re-election.

Then I worried about missing something I should be worrying about, which was my Waterloo, and you know what happens when you missrepparttar 118080 loo.

This is not to say I don't have a worry inrepparttar 118081 world. There isrepparttar 118082 war in Iraq;repparttar 118083 economy; and trying to remember what my wife asked me to bring home fromrepparttar 118084 store tonight. If I'm not careful, I could easily slip back into those gala days filled with worry.

That was then, this is now. A few years back someone introduced me to a marvelous strategy dealing with worry. Since then, my worrying time has been cut to a bare minimum. Because I'mrepparttar 118085 kind of person I am, I want to pass this scheme along to my friends: both of you.

I callrepparttar 118086 plan, "The Wednesday Worry Club." I simply referred to it asrepparttar 118087 WWC.

Very simply, anything that comes my way inrepparttar 118088 category of worrying, is jotted down on a 3x5 card, which is then placed in a special box called, "The Wednesday Worry Club Box." The item onrepparttar 118089 card is forgotten as I drop it intorepparttar 118090 box. Every Wednesday I open uprepparttar 118091 box and go throughrepparttar 118092 cards.

The cards are color-coded for convenience. Red cards are for serious items; green cards are for financial worries; blue cards are for items not needing immediate attention; and yellow cards are for issues withrepparttar 118093 Gracious Mistress ofrepparttar 118094 Parsonage (the bulk of cards inrepparttar 118095 box are yellow — but you didn't hear it from me).

The effect is simplifying my life and freeing up significant time previously occupied with worrying. I cannot tell you how this has enriched my life and I am anxious for you to experiencerepparttar 118096 benefits ofrepparttar 118097 WWC.

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