Talking to Kids About War

Written by John P. Jackman


Talking to Kids About War

byrepparttar Rev. John P. Jackman

A few days ago, my 8 year old daughter asked my wife "What state is Iraq?" My wife explained that Iraq is not a state, but another country. This led to a number of other questions: "Why are they fighting?" "Why is Saddam Hussein bad?" And finally, in a very round-about way, she came torepparttar 111438 real question: "Are we safe?"

Unless you live in a sealed vacuum, your children know there's a war on. The war is everywhere. Just as withrepparttar 111439 news coverage ofrepparttar 111440 terrorist attacks of 9/11,repparttar 111441 coverage is wall-to-wall. Local news stations aren't covering local news; regular programming is preempted with speculation and commentary. The visuals,repparttar 111442 bombs,repparttar 111443 strident music, are not lost on them. They absorb these things, and wonder about them, and formulate explanations - and questions.

The news channels are pumping wall-to-wall coverage into your home because it will increase their ratings. Things that make us tense and fearful boost ratings, and thus boost profits. They will not stop;repparttar 111444 likelihood is that they will do more, with little regard or respect forrepparttar 111445 impact thatrepparttar 111446 coverage might have on children. So it is up to parents to take control ofrepparttar 111447 TV and protect their children from excessive exposure, and it is up to parents to answerrepparttar 111448 questions and calmrepparttar 111449 fears.

I'll never forget hearing aboutrepparttar 111450 child of a man who worked inrepparttar 111451 World Trade Center when it was hit by a jumbo jet. She would only watch The Food Network so that she would not have to watch her father die again and again and again. And again.

How we react to news of war or terrorism will strongly influence how our children are affected. If we react with fear, obsessively watching every minute, every replay, then our children will be affected more deeply and will be more anxious and fearful. I was saddened after 9/11 to see many well-educated parents reacting this way. People in my town were stocking up, looking suspiciously at every Muslim, and speculating as to whether we might be next. That fact that Al Quaida would only hit Lewisville, NC by sheer accident and miscalculation never occurred to them; and I could seerepparttar 111452 anxiety level in their children rise to disturbing levels.

Children need to be reassured that they are safe. They need age-appropriate explanations of what is going on. But above all they depend on us as parents to protect them fromrepparttar 111453 unnecessary and irrational fear that TV coverage can create. Even for families who have a loved one in battle, who for understandable reasons find themselves dragged torepparttar 111454 TV every moment,repparttar 111455 statistical chances are very good that their loved one will return. 98% of servicemen returned from World War II.

Here are ten tips for talking to children about war or terrorism:

1. Talk to children aboutrepparttar 111456 war andrepparttar 111457 terrorists. Many parents fear that talking about violent acts will increase their children's fear, but in factrepparttar 111458 reverse isrepparttar 111459 case. When children keep scared feelings bottled up, their fears may be far worse than reality. You can't reassure them if you don't talk about it.

2. Talk about hate, anger, and bullies. Why do people do terrible things? Talk about tolerance and non-violent solutions to smaller problems. The terrorists are far away, but there's a bully in every schoolyard.

3. Reassure them they are safe. The war is far away, and Osama Bin Laden has never heard of Fleetwood, Pennsylvania or Grapevine, Texas. Even if you live in New York City or Washington, D.C. you can honestly reassure you children that they are safe.

The Martha Complex - The problem with being a 1950's mom

Written by Lara Shecter


"It's a good thing" is a mouthful for a new generation of working mothers

Poor Martha. For five long months she will be forced to leave all her “good things” behind as she serves her sentence in federal prison for obstruction of justice. While Martha Stewart's recent run-in withrepparttar law is nothing to gloat about, it can be seen as a kind of vindication for mothers everywhere. It demonstrates in a rather spectacular fashion that while maintaining perfection at work and at home is a commendable goal, it is about as realistic as wanting a toddler who changes his own diapers.

While they grew up withrepparttar 111437 mantra "You can have it all," many women are realizing that being a loving wife, a wise and gentle mother, and successful business woman is more than they can handle. Unlike their mother's who struck a blow for feminism by joiningrepparttar 111438 work force,repparttar 111439 most recent generation of mothers finds itself trapped in a web of feminist ideals and feminine pursuits.

Old-fashioned values are allrepparttar 111440 rage with countless magazines and television programs detailing how to make absolutely everything from scratch. Gone arerepparttar 111441 days when a working mother could pat herself onrepparttar 111442 back for managing to get a TV dinner onrepparttar 111443 table to feed her hungry brood. If it isn't a gourmet meal made from organic vegetables grown in her garden, today's working mom feels strangely inadequate. If Martha can make her own Christmas ornaments, and seventeen kinds of cookies while running a business empire,repparttar 111444 underlying sentiment seems to be, why can't I?

With Martha's public stumble, however, mothers everywhere can breath a collective sigh of relief. Perhaps when it comes to juggling work and family, perfection is only an illusion and women can cut themselves a little more slack. Remember, it's only "a good thing" if you haverepparttar 111445 time and energy to enjoy it.

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