More than ever, women are afraid for their safety and are taking measures to conquer their fears against mounting problem of abuse and hostile threat. For over a quarter of a century, I've had privilege of helping thousands of women to feel empowered by learning personal protection skills. In that time, I've been exposed to countless first hand accounts of some very emotional stories of violence, distress, rape, and life threatening survival. To look into eyes of a person who's been victimized reminds me all too well of awesome responsibility that every expert has to share only those methods that could guide an individual from a potentially brutal situation to a place of physical and emotional safety. To feel prepared and safe requires some work.

For females especially, training should encompass more than vital combat strategies, to include danger awareness skills and a devotion to safeguards. I am a strong advocate of programming kinds of responses that deflect any possibility of physical contact. This is best way to prevent injury and most important skill a person can learn to remain free from harm. There are just too many dangers and variables in combat. "PreCautions", a Genuine Bussey Style protection program for women was titled as such because its name reflects my determination to limit arena of hands-on conflict. Of course, we all know that there are no guarantees that violence won't occur; therefore, protective tools must be in place. These tools need to be effective, direct, and immediately useful or victim runs risk of making things worse by trying to defend herself with techniques that won't hold up. In its truest form, fighting is not secret, nor particularly complex.

I would like to share some thoughts, which come from our "Principals of Protection Intelligence for Women". When I formulated them, I asked myself what was really important for ladies to know before introducing them to actual defensive tactics. What would I say to my daughter or loved one about building a foundation that made sense and was easy to apply and remember? These are a few of them:

Violent crime is everywhere, happening every minute. It's random, and it can happen to you. The world is a violent shelling that can change life in an instant. Believe it.

Danger recognition skills help to reduce vulnerability. You can expect to prevent some threats by listening closely to your gut instincts and increasing your awareness of danger. With practice, these instincts will get better and better, helping you perceive and define danger. We've all had a 'gut feeling' about a certain person or situation. The way to sharpen this into a tool of defense is to acknowledge it as a helpful message and to realize that whatever emotions you may be feeling could be there for a reason. Without always assuming worst or jumping to conclusions, we need to take as much time as situation will allow to "observe" and "clarify" what is really going on. This will offer you an opportunity to guide your next move.

Single moms, more so than anyone, have to be exceedingly careful about type of man they select as life-long partners. No sensible woman wants to be judged soley on her appearence or sex appeal, right? Moreoever, who would even want a man mostly interested in sex without a real commitment, right again? These questions create an age-old conundrum. Exactly, how does one find a guy who loves them and only wants what is best for them? Let's take it up a notch. How do you resist those natural impulses to throw caution to wind and break down and have sex?

For starters. . .

Read between lines.

A wise person once said, Words carry a little weight, but actions truly reveal entireity of a matter. When you meet a new guy, be especially observant of kinds of things he talks about. Carefully listen to his conversation. Remember, you can usually learn plenty about a person simply by listening to them. If conversation is laced with sexual innuendos, that is your "red flag".

Where’s fire...

Be leery of physical contact early in relationship. Someone who is overly "touchy" after knowing you for a short amount of time might have less than honorable motives. Yes, some guys are “touchy feely” with women. But think for a moment, if you marry a man who can't keep his hands to himself, you are asking for trouble!

Let get real, here. As single moms, it's only natural to enjoy attention of men, but don’t allow loneliness or insecurity to propel you into a relationship that may bring pain later. You are far too precious for that, single mom.

Take your time with physical stuff. Approach dating relationship same way you would with a platonic friend. Save kissing or hugging until you really know guy.