It was our sophomore year that we decided to live together. Each of us had problems year before because standards of our previous roommates were way too rigorous.

The students in our all-male dorm were primarily underclassmen so it was a pretty crappy place to begin with. You know how those places are ... puke in bathroom that sits there for days; trash cans in common areas filled with rotten food and beer cans; that urine smell that pervades entire dorm...Our room was much, much worse. What started out as simply messy turned into a biohazard.

It started out as a contest to determine who was lazier. We thought it would be funny to see who could come up with most comically absurd way to do something with least amount of work.

It started with throwing daily newspaper on floor when we were done with it. This being funny for all of two seconds we progressed to empty pizza boxes and rough drafts of papers. After a week we started adding our beer bottles and cans to mix. (Now you have to understand that we were drinking very heavily. I was drinking nearly seven or eight quarts of Magnum malt liquor a day, and he was contributing vast numbers of cans).

When cold season came around we would add our snot rags. When I coughed up flim I would spit it onto heap. It was not unusual for one of us to drink too much and vomit in bed. In morning we would simply scrape vomit onto floor and turn mattress over (neither one of us used sheets).

I feel that I am being wrongly evicted from our apartment by another roommate who claims to be only one on lease. I'm pretty sure I signed it, too, but I can't remember.

ANSWER:

The first thing to do is to get a copy of that lease. Start with landlord, who probably has a copy (and state law may require him to give you a copy if you request it). If you're on lease, your roommate cannot get you out -- only landlords can evict tenants.