WORD COUNT: 903

Well, I suppose we should all be "happier than a pig in a poke". Why? This year marks first time a man-made object has landed on Mars. Let's see, at last count there were at least two charming little robots (from Land of Stars and Stripes naturally) putzing about surface of "Red Planet".

And, if I'm not mistaken, Mars is also home to some space junk including two deader-than-a-doornail non-entities (hailing from somewhere that shall remain nameless). At last report, Dudley-Do-Little-Devices crash-landed who knows where on Red Planet.

Since we haven't located "Lost and Found" on Mars yet, we haven't got a clue if devices are lost or whether they're just hiding. Since no Martians turned up to greet us let alone give us coordinates of Lost & Found, voyageurs from Earth have been caught between a rock and a hard place as it were. Okay, so maybe Martians were busy day we arrived, or possibly they lost their maps to Lost & Found. Oh well, no matter, who cares ... onto more pressing news.

After first televised glimpse of Mars landscape, my mind began to ponder and then it wandered off on a very long tangent. That often happens when it's been a slow news day, a sluggish news week or sometimes even a slothful news month.

I don't know about you, but frankly I got a tad bored looking at red rocks (on bottom of a crater floor), more rusty rocks (on frigging flatlands) and a black void of nothingness as far as eye could see. Let's face it... unless you're really into red rocks, there's not a whole lot going for for Mars.

So, where's "Red Dwarf"? That's what I want to know. After all, why did man set out on this galactic adventure if he didn't have a mission to find little fellow. (Shy you say, well I'd say he's probably just tucked away somewhere in this color-coordinated place ...you would think.)

After pondering and even more pondering (because I had nothing pressing on my "to-do" list), I began to think of things you might find on Mars. The list was incredibly short. So I came up with something better, "things you probably won't find on Mars".

Now, there’s a lot of stuff on Net and not all of it is positive humor, but you can surf around undesirable stuff with ease. To give you an idea of some funny sites I discovered, here is a short list but I’m sure there are thousands of others you can find by doing simple word searches: www.bored.com, www.linkydinky.com, www.chickenjoke.com, www.crazyfads.com, www.crazythoughts.com, www.dancingbush.com, and www.stupidvideos.com. I really advise checking out last site and watching video entitled ‘Evil penguin2’. This nearly brought tears to my eyes as I already have a soft spot for penguins.