Written by Victoria Elizabeth

PUBLISHING GUIDELINES: You may freely reprint this article in a print or online magazine, e-zine, or newsletter provided that you leaverepparttar byline intact, do not alterrepparttar 118178 content, and makerepparttar 118179 blog address, "clickable" in any electronic format. Please send a courtesy copy for my records via email to:


While I was sitting quietly in my throne room this morning at my Palace on Dallas in beautiful downtown Victoria, British Columbia, Canada (a quaint, quirky colonial outpost right smack dab onrepparttar 118180 San Andreas fault line), my mind began to wander and ponder.

Of course when you’re waiting for “big things” to happen or, ...patiently standing on one foot for your ship to arrive atrepparttar 118181 bus station, or heaven forbid ...lollygagging about because Godot hasn’t turned up yet to give you a reason for being -- something odd is bound to happen. Don’t ask me why, it just does.

Which brings me torepparttar 118182 random topic of “things that go bump inrepparttar 118183 night” (TTGBIT). Not beingrepparttar 118184 quivering or querulous sort, I decided to inquire further intorepparttar 118185 wonderful world of TTGBIT.

However, when I typed into my web browser, I landed on something called “bravepages”. Expecting to meet Robin Hood,repparttar 118186 Red Dwarf or maybe my favorite white-haired classic TV-Western film star, Hop-a-long Cassidy and his colleague “The Cisco Kid”, to my dismay I received a rather strange invitation to sign up for a free website -- not quite what I was expecting, -- but nevertheless an “awesome” experience, asrepparttar 118187 younger generation would say.

Everrepparttar 118188 inquisitive type, I now have only 42,300 websites to wade through according torepparttar 118189 folks at What a perfect project forrepparttar 118190 “Empress of Everything” to undertake instead ofrepparttar 118191 usual royal duties know, proffering pithyless proclamations, knighting every knave inrepparttar 118192 realm, or takingrepparttar 118193 wretched Corgis for a walk.

So, in case you’re wondering about some ofrepparttar 118194 stuff that popped up underrepparttar 118195 category “things that go bump inrepparttar 118196 night”, here are a few:


Written by Victoria Elizabeth

PUBLISHING GUIDELINES. This article may be used in print or electronic publications. Publishers are requested to emailrepparttar author ( with a copy ofrepparttar 118177 article reprinted in their publication, or a link back torepparttar 118178 author's blog at (


While many disparagerepparttar 118179 advent of glitches in our wired world,repparttar 118180 only way to find solace and sanity is to return torepparttar 118181 ancient teachings.

"Haiku", (a Japanese style of poetry), offers readers a way to experiencerepparttar 118182 daily dilemmas of our digital community from a novel perspective.

So, for those of you who have no intention of going back in time or, unearthingrepparttar 118183 gold-leaf tomes in your basement, just tune in torepparttar 118184 Happy Haiku Harridan for your daily dose of wonky wisdom.

Below are a few little gems by anonymous authors. I’ve also added a few of my own for good measure.

1. The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.

2. Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.

3. Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.

4. Windows NT crashed. I amrepparttar 118185 Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.

5. Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.

6. Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.

7. Stayrepparttar 118186 patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.

8. A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.

9. Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred?

10. You step inrepparttar 118187 stream, butrepparttar 118188 water has moved on. This page is not here.

11. Out of memory. We wish to holdrepparttar 118189 whole sky, but we never will.

12. Having been erased,repparttar 118190 document you're seeking must now be retyped.

13. Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared.

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