Written by Victoria Elizabeth

Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved.

THE JOY OF JELLY BEANS --Or, how a little bit of juicy jiggle makesrepparttar world go round --

According to North American researchers,repparttar 118157 only happy members of society these days are "Type B" personalities.

Type Bs are, by definition, not "Type A" personalities. No one could mistake them for a fault-finding flibbertygibbet or a fastidious fusspot. And, you'll never find them pushingrepparttar 118158 "Up" button feverishly on a high-speed elevator going nowhere. There is just one thing that they're driven to do at all costs, obeyrepparttar 118159 posted speed limit, even when riding a unicycle.

Torepparttar 118160 dismay ofrepparttar 118161 statisticians and pollsters,repparttar 118162 only folks who truely fitrepparttar 118163 "happiest people" profile to a tee are apprenticing morticians. Not being a chipper charnel house mother, I felt I had to makerepparttar 118164 case for another category of happiness,repparttar 118165 "Type C" personality.

"Type C" personlities are not Type As (testy toads) or Type Bs (placid pussycats). Your typical Type C is a mirthful minikin, (otherwise known as a good-natured, wee or dainty creature). This homo sapien personality simply adoresrepparttar 118166 small but simple joys of life such as a serendipitous encounter with a sweet treat. And their favorite melt-in-your-mouth munchy is a jelly-bean.

To make a long story short,repparttar 118167 "jelly bean" (a sugar coated candy) found its way into our lexicon almost a century ago. Known for their delightful diversity of colour, delicious flavour and sometimes odd texture, jelly beans are a "must have" for Harry Potter fans and damsels-in-distress.


Written by Theolonius McTavish

Copyright Theolonius McTavish 2004.

ON THE IMPORTANCE OF ELEPHANTS -- Or, can you tell me where I can find “Babar”, “Dumbo” or “Topsy”? --

According to Google, 826,000 websites are devoted torepparttar topic of elephants.

Just imagine what would life be like if there were no behemoths rambling about to give someone a bad-hair day?

Actually these boisterous bruisers have been around for millennia; so long in fact that 4,000 years ago, people inrepparttar 118156 Indus Valley decided it was about time to tame them.

Besides hauling around oodles of stuff, including monarchs and their entourages,repparttar 118157 plump pachyderms becamerepparttar 118158 weapon of choice for ancient warriors with lots of time on their hands. After all, no one moves quickly in a military campaign using ‘Babar’, ‘Dumbo’ or ‘Topsy’; everyone that is except Hannibal, who in 218 BC took a joy ride with 37 elephants overrepparttar 118159 Alps to winrepparttar 118160 Second Punic War.

Not to be outdone byrepparttar 118161 continental hordes, nor content to be just 'King ofrepparttar 118162 Castle',repparttar 118163 British boasted of their intention to rulerepparttar 118164 whole wide world before engineers laid claim to that feat first. To that end, they thought a few elephants might dorepparttar 118165 trick. So,repparttar 118166 Royal Navy got busy and named two 18th century storage vessels and a gun-ship, “HMS Elephant”, (in spite ofrepparttar 118167 fact that gun-powder had renderedrepparttar 118168 elephant obsolete as a high-performance fighting machine).

Wars involving blessedly big beasts and man-made monsters would soon fall byrepparttar 118169 wayside, in favor ofrepparttar 118170 more popular "rat race", (a leisure activity pursued by ripsnorting rodents and robber-baron wannabes). Clearly,repparttar 118171 elephant would need a new reason for being if it was going to surviverepparttar 118172 slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Since pet rocks, silly putty and slinkies had not yet been invented,repparttar 118173 rich and famous still needed something to amuse themselves. Elephants looked like a good idea atrepparttar 118174 time. So, with a new lease on life, these hefty hairless creatures became objects of affection and "must-have" items of conspicuous consumption for several dudes of distinction. French Emperor Charlemagne acquired a hungry household pet named “Abul-Abbas”, while Pope Leo X, (with few friends around to chewrepparttar 118175 fat and down a pint of grog), found solace through a spiritual connection to his non-ruminating hoofed animal companion, “Hanno”.

With far too many elephants and sacred cows hanging around and taking up space onrepparttar 118176 planet, not to mention scads of young men with blunderbusses, and numerous old bucks bored out of their trees romping aroundrepparttar 118177 back forty, a new trophy sport emerged to keep these testy titans occupied. Whilerepparttar 118178 lads were enthusiastically engaged in "offing"repparttar 118179 floundering floppy-eared things plodding aboutrepparttar 118180 plains of Africa --repparttar 118181 taxidermists enjoyed a booming business upon their return. Apparently,repparttar 118182 only ones who complained bitterly aboutrepparttar 118183 trophy hunt were those left behind -- an odd assortment of neglected nitpicking nags, abandoned paramours, and inconsolable damsels-in-distress.

Seeingrepparttar 118184 “Old World” get allrepparttar 118185 credit for coming up with ways to tame or trounce elephants,repparttar 118186 “New World” cowboys were a tad ticked off. The pursuit of happiness pioneers, (with precious little to do inrepparttar 118187 "home ofrepparttar 118188 brave"), decided it was high time to kick butt for a change. So, they tossedrepparttar 118189 yoke of yucky British tea, put an end torepparttar 118190 tyranny of tasteless crumpets, and created new job opportunities for bronco-busters (in a country with vanishing buffalo, no elephants, and a wide array of flea-bitten mules). A glorious and bright future lay ahead for those who dared to ride bulls bareback, or those willing to take up less stressful occupations such as tenderfooted cowpokes, barnyard groomers, and burger flippers.

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