Written by Stupidman


I have know R.H. Jaycox (Jay),repparttar author of Internet Profit Pearls, for over a decade. A while back he asked me to read a pre-final draft (don't know how many pre-s I should really use) ofrepparttar 118298 book. Technically I don't have a clue of what he was talking about but,having lost money through an earlier investment,I recognizedrepparttar 118299 truth he was describing. In Chapters 4&11 he recommended writing articles for ezines as a way of promoting a business. I wrote one, showed it to him and he liked it. Jay suggested that I write a series from my ignorant perspective as I try to implementrepparttar 118300 suggestions inrepparttar 118301 "final?" draft ofrepparttar 118302 book.

I've titledrepparttar 118303 series,"The Internet Adventures of Stupidman" andrepparttar 118304 original piece, " The Birth of Stupidman".The moniker seems appropriate as it is how I feel when I try to do something onrepparttar 118305 computer and it seems to reflectrepparttar 118306 attitude I get from my teenagers when I try to share my "wisdom" on any subject.

Jay said I should share a little background. This is my second marriage. The Boss and I live with my 13 year old son,Greased Lightning, and his 15 year old sister,Fashion Girl.

The Boss is one of those people who buys new technology before her neighbors can spell it. (She bought a microwave oven when they were so big they needed a separate room.) She's been onrepparttar 118307 internet since shortly after Al Gore invented it. She doesn't do sophisticated things onrepparttar 118308 internet but due to her seniority she's The Boss.

Greased Lightning is scary, he reads books about HTML, Java, JavaScript, encryption (Is there a Hacking for Dummies?). His fingers are a blur onrepparttar 118309 keyboard and his explanations are fast and condescending.

Fashion Girl listens to music onrepparttar 118310 internet, designs art and wardrobes, fills up shopping carts untilrepparttar 118311 wheels fall off and tries to find my credit cards.

Greased Lightning servesrepparttar 118312 function of our house dog. If somebody passes gas and chooses not to acceptrepparttar 118313 responsibilityrepparttar 118314 dog is blamed. Greased Lightning is our gaseous dog. Ifrepparttar 118315 computer crashes The Boss assumes it was something caused by Greased Lighting even if he has not usedrepparttar 118316 computer in several days.

I'm afraid to try things onrepparttar 118317 computer as I don't want to becomerepparttar 118318 gaseous dog. It's safer to be Stupidman.

Jay thinks there are a lot of people inrepparttar 118319 world who might have good ideas and are also afflicted with keyboard phobia. He says if I share my learning experiences (frustrations are more like it) it will makerepparttar 118320 world a better place, yada yada yada. Who's kidding who, if you buy through my URL (Greased Lightning goes crazy when I call it an Earl) I make $10. Remember, this idea came from Chapters 4&11.

THE INTERNET ADVENTURES OF STUPIDMAN The Birth of Stupidman I used to be smart. Not only did I believe it but many people (including bosses) told me I was smart. In college I learned a little FORTRAN and COBOL (main frame computer languages that are probably extinct by now). Inrepparttar 118321 70's and 80's I was a whiz at programming PCs in Lotus and Supercalc.

The Lion Doesn't Sleep Tonight - A Very Roman Holiday

Written by Laura Fink

The Skin Traveler

© 2001 Laura Fink / All Rights Reserved Episode One - The Lion Doesn't Sleep Tonight

The sculpted bushes and phosphorous fountains of Shiver Tower Gardens began to fade, and Tock felt a strange buzzing in his head. He saw his hand reach in slow motion for his mouse, but before he could touch it, he found himself sitting in a dim corner of a dark enclosure. It smelled musty, like a cave. Beside him was his laptop. Although his cell-phone was nowhere in sight,repparttar computer appeared to be still on-line. Tock puzzled over this for a moment, and then began to look around. He heard voices speaking quietly in a foreign tongue. As he strained to listen, he found that gradually he was able to understand their language. The voices came fromrepparttar 118297 center ofrepparttar 118298 room, where a group of simply clothed men and women sat onrepparttar 118299 floor, their heads bowed.

"And Father, please take away all fear, so that we may give honor to Your Name," one man said. "Amen!"repparttar 118300 other voices added in unison.

With shock, Tock noticed that he was dressed just likerepparttar 118301 folk sitting onrepparttar 118302 floor. Quickly, he stuffed his computer into a spare corner of his shell, asrepparttar 118303 sound of clanging metal filledrepparttar 118304 room. It was then that he noticedrepparttar 118305 bars that closed offrepparttar 118306 far end ofrepparttar 118307 room. A key turned in a lock, andrepparttar 118308 bars swung open. The shadow of a very big man with a serious case of body odor filledrepparttar 118309 room. "All of you, rise!" he bellowed. The small group stood meekly. The brute withrepparttar 118310 key pointed his truncheon at Tock. "You, too! The lions are especially hungry, today!"

Tock froze, sweat running down his face. Mamma mia! This was notrepparttar 118311 trip he had planned! He wondered vaguely whererepparttar 118312 Tourist Information Office was located.

The beastly smelling, over-muscled Roman guard led Tock andrepparttar 118313 others into a small holding pen which led, through a gate, intorepparttar 118314 open coliseum. A faint roaring sound came fromrepparttar 118315 arena. What,repparttar 118316 lions were out there already? Tock wondered. His stomach tightened. But no, it was justrepparttar 118317 roar ofrepparttar 118318 crowd. They wanted to see blood, guts, and ripped flesh. Tock wondered if he had time to downloadrepparttar 118319 trailer for "Gladiator" fromrepparttar 118320 Net. Would that satisfy them?

Behindrepparttar 118321 back ofrepparttar 118322 guard, who stood Rambo-like atrepparttar 118323 gate torepparttar 118324 arena, Tock edged nearer to investigate a foul-smelling hole in one corner ofrepparttar 118325 room. Phew! The removal of human waste products certainly had improved inrepparttar 118326 last millenium or two. A little standard lo-tech hygeine would be good for these folks. One ofrepparttar 118327 prisoners drew close to Tock and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"Brother, I see you have noticed something of interest." Tock looked up at him quizzically, then down atrepparttar 118328 primitive loo. Ah, of course! "Being of such small stature, you could find your way through this fissure down intorepparttar 118329 sewage tunnels that criss-cross this city. And from there:"

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