"I am alone and I am searching Hungering for answers in my time I am balanced at brink of wisdom I'm impatient to receive a sign I move forward with my senses open Imperfection it be my crime In humility I will listen We're all swimming to other side . . ."

From "Swimming to Other Side" by Pat Humphries, © 1992 Moving Forward Music

May be heard on Faerie Goddess CD, Elaine Silver vocals Used with permission.

I have been a practicing witch for more than thirty years, and up until very recently, I had believed that I had a fair understanding of my religion.

I was wrong.

Most of world's religions today are "faith-based," meaning that they require a belief in an intangible deity or principle from their adherents. In contrast, most Pagan religions tend to be experiential in nature. As a wonderful acquaintance of mine likes to say, "'Works for me' has a rather special meaning for witches." He's right.

My own particular Pagan faith (and there are many), which happens to be Wicca, relies very heavily on observation of world we live in. Our deities are male and female because we observe that it takes male and female to create life in nature. Most of our practices center around changing seasons, waxing and waning moon, changes in our own consciousness – all things we can see and taste and feel around us.

That being said, it is truly amazing how easily we can ignore what we see and know.

Wicca was at one time an honest attempt to recreate ancient religion of northern European tribes, a religion which was practiced for something on order of 25,000 years. It isn't a perfect reconstruction, of course. Too much has been lost. But what we do know has astonishing similarities to other faiths all across world.

My fellow witches will probably want to burn me at stake for saying this, but we have strong similarities even to Christianity.

Like Christianity, Wiccans are splintered into many sects. All Wiccan sects acknowledge a Goddess and a God. All Wiccan sects revere Goddess. The treatment of God, however, can vary all way from equality with Goddess to little more than a cosmic sperm donor. The latter sort of sect often appeals to women who have been bruised by a society shaped by 5,000 years of brutal patriarchy and patriarchal religions that only permit female spirituality behind walls of a convent. Feminine sexuality and motherhood are not permitted to those with a Christian spiritual calling.

"There were those who came to power Through domination They were bonded in their worship Of a dead man on a cross They sought control Of common people By demanding allegiance To Church of Rome

"And Pope he commenced The Inquisition It was a war against women Whose power he feared In this holocaust In this age of evil Nine million European women they died . . ."

From "The Burning Times" by Charlie Murphey © 1991 Bal Music, LTD May be heard on Faerie Goddess CD, Elaine Silver vocals Used with permission.

Small wonder that many women can find no spiritual home in Christianity!

Wiccan practices are based on "Wheel of Year," with four major festivals on fixed dates, four lesser festivals at solstices and equinoxes, and sometimes minor festivals centering around phases of moon. During this spiritual year, Goddess changes but does not die. Our God weds Goddess at Litha (summer solstice, on or about June 21st), then casts Himself into fire at Lugnasagh (August 1st) to ensure fruitfulness of land for his pregnant wife. He is crowned King of Dead at Samhain (October 31st) and is born again into world as infant Sun God born to Goddess at Yule (the winter solstice – on or about December 21st).

Sounds similar to Christianity, doesn't it? The concept of a God who sacrifices Himself for world He loves and is born again? The concept is also common to Persian Mithras and to many other faiths. This is not coincidence. Nor is it coincidence that rebirth of God takes place at winter solstice.

With time, intermarriage, and cultural exchanges – not to mention constant and often bloody Christian efforts to convert and "save" "heathen" (heathen means person of heath, or country person) – lines between a great many religions have become increasingly blurred. Trying to learn truth can become a puzzle of sorts, searching for points in common. Of course, historical "TRUTH" in capital letters doesn't mean a great deal to Wiccans, which is one of sources of Christian discomfort with us.

For Wiccans, only meaningful cosmic truth is one which works. Anything which makes us better human beings is "truth." The rest is meaningless. We don't have to believe. We aren't about faith. We seek out spiritual practices which help us to grow and develop, and we tend to experiment spiritually and ritually far more than our Christian brothers and sisters. Most Christian sects actually discourage such experimentation, and some even forbid it, which is another reason why we are shunned and feared.

Wiccans are secure in knowledge that we have however long it takes for us to achieve spiritual enlightenment. We are not limited to one lifetime, which is why word "salvation" has a tendency to make a Wiccan chuckle. We have no need of it, nor ever will, as we are not now and never were lost. Our view of time is quite different.

But as a result of backlash against patriarchy, much of best of our religion is often forgotten or ignored. I propose that this has been a mistake.

I initially found my way into Wicca as a teenaged rape survivor, and sect I found my way into at time was of "cosmic sperm donor" variety. All of emphasis was on feminine. In all honesty, it was what I needed at time, and it helped me to heal. It didn't take long, however, for me to realize that my rejection of masculine was just as wrong and unfair as Christianity's rejection of feminine.

So I "converted" to another sect, as it were, and I remain there to this day. It is a sect in which men and women celebrate side by side. and physical sex has been restored to joyful activity it should always have been.

"Balance" is a basic tenet of wisdom.

Nevertheless, I was fooling myself. All of these years, I feared masculinity, or ignored it, or detested it, or enjoyed it on a purely physical level – but I never honestly tried to understand it or to cherish it in myself. We are all of us part male and part female, and we need to understand both sides of our natures to achieve our fullest potential.

During my 28 years as a practicing Wiccan, or "witch" if you prefer, I have had occasion to ask myself this difficult question many, many times. With recent political controversy over United States Army permitting pagan services to be held on military bases in Texas and around world, question suddenly has more than its usual immediacy for me and for my brothers and sisters in Wicca.

First, let me get usual questions out of way. Wicca is a real religion, born in 1950s as a recreation of Old Religion of Northern Europe, which some believe dates back about 25,000 years. In mid-1980s, U.S. Courts accepted Wicca as a legitimate religion and granted us 1st Amendment rights and freedom from taxation. So point is moot, really. The same U.S. Constitution that protects Christianity protects our religious freedom – and a good thing, too. We are fastest growing religion of 20th Century.

We do not believe in an evil deity, and would not worship one if we did. We do not practice human or animal sacrifice. The most sacred commandment our religion demands of us is to harm no one. If you think about that last statement carefully, it pretty well covers most of Biblical Ten Commandments - important parts, anyway. Even more important, we do not attempt to convert our friends and neighbors to Wicca. Our faith teaches us that when they are ready for what we have to teach, they will seek us out.

What about me, personally? Am I a New Age nut? Well, that depends on what you mean. I'm an environmentalist, certainly. I am also a feminist. On other hand, I do not do illegal drugs of any kind. I am a computer technician working for one of largest employers in United States. I am a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. I am an aspiring science-fiction writer and screenwriter, actively peddling stories and novels to publishing industry in New York and motion picture scripts to Hollywood. I am a licensed pilot and a licensed aircraft mechanic. I am a licensed private investigator. My favorite hobby is reading physics textbooks, and I apply such knowledge to my science fiction. I am a veteran of United States Air Force, United States Air Force Reserve, and Texas Army National Guard, and during time I served, I held a top-secret security clearance. I served my country well and was honorably discharged. I've been arrested only once in my entire life, as a 17-year-old runaway, and I've had a grand total of three traffic tickets in almost thirty years of driving. In what way am I such an evil and dangerous neighbor?

Why have I been forced to practice my religion in secret for most of my life? Why, during my active duty years (early to mid 1970s), was I forced to record "No Pref" on my dog tags? Am I a pacifist? Hardly! Women have never been drafted in United States, so why would I have enlisted voluntarily (and during Viet Nam war!) if I were a pacifist?

Why does publishing my real name on this article cause me to risk loss of my job, vandalism to my home and my car, harm to my animals (and children if I had any)? Does this make any sense to a rational human being?

Where does knee-jerk hostility to word "witch" come from?

Not from word, certainly. "Witch" is a corruption of "witcraft," or "craft of wise." In fact, my religion is sometimes called "The Craft of Wise," or just "The Craft." There is nothing sinister there. Do we practice magic? Yes, most of us do. Do we have supernatural powers? Of course not. Oddly enough, those who believe practice of magic is so evil are often those who most sincerely believe in faith healing. Just think about that honestly for a moment, and try to explain difference to me. I'm waiting . . .

Let’s get back to Craft of Wise. During Christian Inquisition, nobody really knows how many accused witches were burned at stake. It is known, however, that a number of village wise women were accused of witchcraft and burned for curing fevers with nasty stuff like moldy bread. Were they followers of Old Religion? Probably - although I wasn’t there, and I honestly have no idea. Were they wise? You bet they were! Did you ever hear of penicillin? How many centuries of medical knowledge were lost because of a bunch of frightened priests?

So where did idea come from that we were (and are) Satanists?

The most obvious answer is that moldy bread cure worked, and was unexplainable. A number of other herbal and common sense remedies were surprisingly effective, as "alternative" medicine is re-discovering today. The only way church could admit these cures worked (and it was a little too obvious to deny) without admitting this was a really good thing was to make claim that women practicing these cures had made a pact with Devil. Heavens, they couldn't be physicians! Medicine was firmly in hands of priests, and practice of medicine was expressly forbidden to women. At time I write of, formal medicine consisted mostly of applying leeches to sick.

Were village wise women only problem? No. During this early medieval period, when Christians were converting Northern Europe at sword point, a lot of dirty tricks were played. The country folk, whom we believe to be ancestors of modern Wicca, worshiped a Goddess we consider Mother of Life, and a God we call Horned Hunter, or God of Death. For us, death is merely a door to rebirth, so there is nothing at all fearful for us in a God of Death. In an effort to make non-Christianity something horrible, monks who drew medieval Biblical illustrations "borrowed" our Horned Hunter when they drew depictions of Christian Devil. You needn't take my word for this. Any educated person knows that Greek Pan predates Christianity by some considerable period of time. Take a good look at a drawing of Pan in your nearest encyclopedia. Look familiar? He should. You've been looking at him in biblical illustrations dating back to your first Sunday school. Pan is Greek form of our Horned Hunter. They are one and same god. Read your mythology. Pan was never evil, just playful.

If all that weren't enough, Exodus 22:18 was horribly mistranslated in King James Version of Christian Bible. The original "Suffer not a poisoner to live among you" became "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." Some pretty bloodthirsty fundamentalist preachers want to enforce that mistranslation literally, even today. In August of 1999, Rev. Jack Harvey of Killeen, Texas, was quoted as stating publicly that all witches should be killed. He organized a “March Against Wickedness” for that Labor Day Monday in Killeen (which flopped pitifully), and I believe he was hoping and praying it would erupt into real violence, because he advised members of his congregation to carry guns, in case some of us witches decided to snatch his kids.