You can find "pop"—the sweetness—inside your tart tootsie roll by looking behind surface appearance of your situation. Ask yourself some probing questions: "What's been beneficial effect of my predicament?" "What did I learn that helped me become a better person?" and "What good eventually came out of situation?"

By focusing on how experience served you, you can discover how loss of a relationship can restore your trust in life. Or how losing your job or health can propel you closer to your dreams!

Let's check out some real-life lemons. Here are some examples of unseen rewards of losing your relationship, job and health. And how sour aftertaste can become sweet!

Benefits of Being Dumped

I was secure in my second marriage. Then, after 15 years, my husband suddenly abandoned me to marry an older woman. You heard right—an older woman! Go figure!

For years following divorce, my feelings of hurt and anger were compounded by a sense of failure and humiliation. A decade later, I still feel sting of betrayal. But now I'm armed with outlook that every experience serves me. "So," I ponder, "what could possibly be hidden value of getting dumped?"

While searching for benefits, I unearth my involvement in betrayal. The more honest I am, more I uncover truth: I'm cause of my husband leaving me!

I Knew at Altar!

I realize now that betrayal began at church altar. As my fiancée slipped ring on my finger, I knew that we weren't meant to be married to each other. I betrayed my own intuition by agreeing to be his wife. The undeniable fact is that I'm one who abandoned me, not my spouse.

Why didn't I listen to my inner knowing? I realize now that I was afraid to be alone. To avoid loneliness, I jumped into matrimony.

These startling realizations release emotions that have haunted me for years. As more liberating insights pour in, sour feelings begin to lift. I actually start to appreciate my ex-husband! He had courage to tell himself and me straight dope—that our relationship was dead.

Long-term Rewards

Having these fresh insights gives me renewed strength and curiosity to keep asking questions. What could possibly be long-term benefits of being forced to live on my own? How has it served me to have to take care of myself? What good has come from this experience?

Slowly I begin to spot my good fortune of being left in lurch:

I asked almost everybody I spoke to (even strangers) if they had enough time. If they had enough time I asked if they had enough money.

Most said they had neither enough time nor money. A few (very few) had time but no money. Even fewer had enough money.

Then I asked if they knew anyone who had enough time and money. One person could name three people, but I do not think he knew them very well. He was one of few who knew someone.

My wife named three people. All were retired. All had worked same jobs most of their lives and had paid for their homes. One was her grandmother of 93, one was a single man of 84 and other was a couple in their late 60's that lived in same place all their lives.

Ouch! Can this be true? Do majority of people not have time and money until they retire? Which brings up this question. Is it OK to have time and no money? Or is it OK to have money but no time?

Are we spending (literally) our whole lives chasing after time and money with little possibility of reaching that goal until late in our lives?

Why am I even writing about this? What is point? Does it even matter that we seem to chase time and money our whole lives?

One thing that comes to mind is our kids. You know, children that are growing up to lead world, and solve problems we are leaving to them. What are we teaching them by our actions? We aren't teaching them much directly because we are too busy!