Surviving As A Single Parent: Seven Suggestions To Make Your Life EasierWritten by Danielle Hollister
*Please send me a copy of ezine edition or URL of website where you publish my article. *You may use this article if you include ENTIRE resource box that follows article.1 - Forgive even if you will never be able to Forget. Let go of grudges you may hold against your child's other parent, who is absent from BOTH of your lives. Holding onto feelings of anger will not change your situation and will probably consume a great deal of your energy - energy you need to devote to creating a positive environment for your child. If you dwell on your disappointment with and/or dislike of father or mother of your child - chances are your child will sense your feelings and suffer in some way from your negative attitude. 2 - Make most of everything you have. Even if you do not have a lot of money, you do have your child and your love and your time to give to him or her. Try to remember that monetary wealth and material possessions are not most important items in your child's life. Your love, support and time together mean much more to them. You can have fun for free. Activities like - going for a walk or a bike ride, playing at park, coloring, painting, singing, or dancing - will thrill your child just as much as spending money to go to an amusement park, an arcade or a toy store. 3 - Be best parent you can possibly be. Give as much as you can without setting goals that are unrealistic for one parent to achieve. Don't beat yourself up for what cannot be. Do recognize what you can do to create a good life for your child to best of your abilities. 4 - Develop a network of reliable resources. Families are not biological. Surround yourself and your child with friends you know and trust - people who care about both of you. "Aunts" and "Uncles" and even "Grandparents," who are not blood-related can be just as beneficial to your child as actual biological family members. The "family" you create for your child can provide him or her with same kind of love and support as a traditional family. They can also help you with your responsibilities as a single parent. Let them play an active role in your child's life. Learn to turn to your "family" when you need a break. Nobody should have to go it alone and you will probably be able to be a better parent by relying on your "family" of close friends to support you and your child.
| | The Courage to Be a Loving ParentWritten by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as author resource box at end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title: The Courage to Be a Loving Parent Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 716 Category: Parenting THE COURAGE TO BE A LOVING PARENT By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Most of us really don’t like it when someone is angry at us. We don’t like it when people go into resistance to helping us when we need help, instead of caring about us. We don’t like it when people withdraw from us, disconnecting from us and shutting us out. We don’t like it when people make demands on us and do not respect our right or need to say no. Many of us will do almost anything to avoid soul loneliness and pain we feel when people treat us in angry, resistant, demanding and uncaring ways. It takes great courage to stay loving to ourselves and others when faced with others’ angry and closed behavior. It especially take courage when people we are dealing with are our own children. Yet unless we have courage to come up against our children’s anger, resistance, and withdrawal, we will give ourselves up and not take care of ourselves to avoid their uncaring reactions. The more we deny our own truth and our own needs and feelings, more our children will disrespect and discount us. Our children become a mirror of our own behavior, discounting us when we discount ourselves, disrespecting us when we disrespect ourselves. The more we give ourselves up to avoid our children’s unloving behavior toward us, more we become objectified as all-giving and loving parent who doesn’t need anything for ourselves. When we do this, we are role-modeling being a caretaker. On other hand, it is unloving to ourselves and our children to expect our children to take responsibility for our well-being. It is unloving to demand that our children give themselves up to prove their love for us and to pacify our fears. It is unloving to demand that they be way we want them to be rather than who they are. It is unloving to set limits just to make us feel safe, rather than limits that support their health and safety. When we behave in this way, we are role-modeling being a taker.
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