Feel that rising tide of anger? Surf's up! Start paddling. Whenever we feel angry or frustrated, we get a blast of adrenalin coursing through our bloodstream. In fight or flight response to stress, our bodies rely on our appendages. We need to hit, kick, jump or run away, and our bodies help out by sending extra blood to our limbs.
If we were living in wild and had to actually fight off a predator or run away to escape, this would make perfect sense. But in a typical day, we just don't need those survival mechanisms like we used to. In fact, we do our best to thwart our body's response to stress by suppressing our physical reactions.
Oh, sure, we still use our extremities to express our anger. We raise our fists, pound on desk, slam doors or cupboards, kick garbage can, or stomp our feet. Still, since we're trying to be civilized and all, we use words more than body parts to react to whatever upsets us. This is good in that we don't want to go around hitting people. Slugging your boss may be biological, but it won't get you too far in your corporate climb.
So, instead of fight or flight response our predecessors relied upon, we've developed more of what I call an "explode or seethe" response. Some of us react right away when we're upset. We clench our fists, do some wild gesticulating, raise our voices, or slam phone down. Others tend to seethe. We suck in our breath, count to ten, hold it, and keep our frustration covered by a tight smile or maybe a little gasp of exasperation, but that's about it.
There's also classic combo of seether/exploder. You know type: they just keep their heads down, don't say a word, and then out of blue they go into a tirade that rattles roof.
It's interesting that we consider a seether as more evolved than an exploder. We value those who are able to keep their emotions in check. In our culture, seethers are "nice" people who surprise us by keeling over from a heart attack or stroke. We've been programmed to sit and seethe. It's as though we're stepping on gas (adrenalin) and slamming on brakes (inactivity) at same time. Try doing that in your car, and you'll burn up your engine. That's what we're doing to our bodies.
What do we do after a hard day? We sit and watch television. We play video games. We go to a movie. We collapse on sofa and listen to music. We go out to eat and drink.
We've eliminated a lot of activity of daily life. We don't scrub floors, churn butter, wash clothes by hand, hoe garden, walk everywhere, or otherwise eliminate our stress through regular movement. We sit in our cars, sit at our desks, and sit in front of television. It's no wonder we're obese and suffering from effects of stress!
The sit-and-seethe starts early. Consider a two-year- old having a tantrum. Picture a little body flailing about, all arms and legs. That's adrenalin in all its glory! No suppression of instincts, just a pure, unadulterated expression of physiology at work.
We can't have kids growing up and throwing tantrums. It's just not socially acceptable. So, we give two- year-old a "time out" to cool off. This is like asking a charging bull to sit and sip a bit of tea in that proverbial china shop.