Super Woman

Written by Robert Elias Najemy

Super Woman

Robert Elias Najemy

Situations & Lessons Series

Katherine is very conscientious, a hard worker and reliable in all cases.

At work and at home, she can be depended on to get things done. She often stays overtime, usually alone atrepparttar office in order to get her work done.

When she gets home, she immediately immerses herself in cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, etc. Althoughrepparttar 126281 others are home even before she is, they do not even think of helping out. Katherine will do all this.

She is a perfectionist, and although sometimes complains that no one helps, she in fact cannot relax when they do something. First of all, they may not do it right. Secondly, she depends onrepparttar 126282 role ofrepparttar 126283 super-responsible and super-capable person to establish her self-worth. She has been programmed that in this way she will ensure respect and love fromrepparttar 126284 others. (The truth, however, is that only her boss is happy about it because his work gets done correctly and quickly. Most of her coworkers and family members are annoyed byrepparttar 126285 tension she creates in her super-woman role.)

Even when she does manage to allocate responsibilities to others, her anxiety for it to get done and be perfect forces her to do it beforerepparttar 126286 others gets a chance. She is attached to both speed and perfection. She cannot relax when tasks are not completed or when something is not in its place.

Except for putting up with her regular complaining and an occasional outburst of anger, her family members and coworkers have actually got a good thing going. They have very little work to do and depend on Katherine to get it done. Her occasional anger is a small price to pay for not having to do much work.

They sometimes feel sorry for her and want to help her, but they do not know how. They cannot share her standards for order, cleanliness and speed of execution. These are not as important to them as they are to Katherine, and they have never hadrepparttar 126287 opportunity to feel those needs because she has always taken care of everything before they could feel any lack.

Katherine?s husband Peter is gradually losing his self-respect and depending more and more on Katherine for things to be done. She even has to takerepparttar 126288 car to get fixed because he leaves it for months. Her super-woman role is gradually sapping him of all his self-worth and he is becoming ever more lazy and irresponsible. He agrees to do things, but literally takes months to do them.

He is spending more and more time with his friends, playing cards and killing time. He avoids contact with Katherine, who is for him is a continuous reminder of his inadequacy. She makes more money than he does, which is a blow to his manhood.

Childhood Programmings

All this could have been predicted by anyone who was aware ofrepparttar 126289 messages they received as children. Peter,repparttar 126290 son of two very active and successful parents, was put off by their hyperactivity and simultaneously very doubtful that he could ever succeed in their eyes and by their measure. He was very fearful of failing. This fear of failure created in him blockages to learning or doing, and he spent most of his time playing games, something he felt he could succeed at.

He heard from his parents on daily basis that he was lazy, incapable and would do nothing with his life. He is now making their words come true.

Katherine understood at a young age that her father wanted a son and not a daughter, and although she was much more intelligent and industrious than her younger brother, he got allrepparttar 126291 attention. Katherine then decided to prove her worth to her father in masculine terms. She decided that she must succeed professionally and economically so as to be a "man" in her father?s eyes and have his attention and love. Thus she became super-woman.

Create a Conscious Love Relationship ?2

Written by Robert Elias Najemy

Create a Conscious Love Relationship ?2 Robert Elias Najemy Part 2 of 3 part series

We continue here to discuss aspects of a mature relationship.


a. Expressing needs and feelings rather than blame.

One ofrepparttar main causes of misunderstandings, tension, bitterness, unhappiness and relationship failure is our inability to communicate effectively. We have been programmed to criticize, blame and intimidate rather than express our real needs and / or feelings of insecurity, fear, inadequacy or rejection, which is usuallyrepparttar 126280 reality behind our negativity.

We have learned to cover our weaknesses and put up a strong and often aggressive face. We can develop alternative means of communication in which we neither suppress our needs and values, nor do we hurt or demeanrepparttar 126281 other.

b. Clarifying and communicating our needs before we unite our lives:

Whether we want to see it that way or not, marriage is a contract between two persons who promise certain things to each other. Unfortunately for many, this contract is simply a formality forrepparttar 126282 religion orrepparttar 126283 state.

However, two conscious persons wanting to enter into a relationship have everything to gain by sitting down together and drawing up their own contract, independent of whatrepparttar 126284 church or state may stipulate. In this way, they will discover if they really haverepparttar 126285 same goals, values and perceptions about what their relationship means. They can express what they expect of each other. This will be an opportunity to discuss lifestyles and expectations more deeply, to see if they are really meant to unite their lives, or if it is perhaps better to remain friends.

Couples already married can renew their contract every few years, making adjustments when agreeable to both which represent their present relationship needs. These contracts will evolve as their needs evolve.


A relationship needs to be kept fresh and alive. One way is forrepparttar 126286 partners to share various types of common activities. One basic common activity is bringing up children and everything that encompasses. Other possibilities might be attending classes, lectures or cultural events together, playing games, going for walks, working on some business or creative project together, singing, dancing, traveling or even reading together, and of course, expressing love to each other physically.

In these mind and body stimulating activities, we are brought into deeper contact and have new and interesting subjects about which to think and communicate. This is much preferable to limiting our time together to watching television.

Onrepparttar 126287 other hand, we need to respect each other?s unique individuality and should not try to forcerepparttar 126288 other to believe what we do, or pressure him or her into some activity in which he or she is not interested. However, we all have everything to gain by being open and experimental about life, allowing ourselves to try out new experiences and activities leading to mutual growth and enrichment.

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