Written by Val K

I will wear sunglasses so as to hiderepparttar tears which form in my eyes for a man is not supposed to cry, so they say, and because of this: my heart I have kept in a safe.

But I will wear sunglasses allrepparttar 136287 same for I am emotional as poets come as emotional as Thomas who found solace in a bottle as emotional as Byron who went to Avalon without a drink.

For my feelings I carry with me, visible for you to see like Ernst’s apple stuck to a forehead.


Written by Beatrice Blitterless & Earl Craboon

Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005

IT'S MIRTHFUL MAY! -- Eccentric events and odd occasions to celebrate in May 2005 --

Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon

Let’s see…it’s MIRTHFUL MAY. According torepparttar Calendar of Quips, we’re already five months intorepparttar 136213 “Year ofrepparttar 136214 Rooster”.

If you’re not a rooster, you’re plumb out of luck this year. Forget about finding a bag of loot inrepparttar 136215 barnyard, it hasrepparttar 136216 rooster’s name on it not yours. But there is one day you can take credit for, “Poppycock Appreciation Day”!

But if you’re into dancing around a May pole, sending a soppy Mother’s Day card, or maybe even dressing up like a cow inrepparttar 136217 Island Dairy Victoria Day parade in British Columbia’s capital city – you’ve hitrepparttar 136218 jackpot.

Onrepparttar 136219 other hand, you could chuckrepparttar 136220 whole thing and take your long awaited a trip to visit Uncle Tootall in Punkeydoodles Corners, Ontario.

Are you really committed to chewingrepparttar 136221 fat with weird Aunt Willow, playing with all those ill-behaved pets, not to mention swatting black flies and listening to those morally-uplifting tales aroundrepparttar 136222 campfire aboutrepparttar 136223 joys of living in “God’s Country”?

Why not just stay home and enjoyrepparttar 136224 frivolous festivities of MIRTHFUL MAY plusrepparttar 136225 glorious mayhem that may result from having a good time.

1. "May Pole Dancing Appreciation Day" (put on your dancing shoes, it’s time to triprepparttar 136226 light fantastic …no that doesn’t mean gawking atrepparttar 136227 girls in g-strings)

2. "Whoohoo Awareness Day" (now’s your time to shinerepparttar 136228 spotlight on anyone you know with questionable attitudes, unusual proclivities, and tasteless pastimes)

3. "SNAFU Appreciation Day" (it’s definitely time to celebrate “Silly No-Nos and Funny Undertakings” that truly drive people uprepparttar 136229 wall or aroundrepparttar 136230 bend)

4. "You Deal With It Day" (the one occasion when all those “yes” folk get to surprise everyone by declaring "No" – You Deal With It …I’m going fishing today, so there!)

5. "Polka Dot & Plaid Day" (another mirthful mix and match day – a great way to make a fashion statement by wearing any weird wardrobe you please!)

6. "Toot Your Own Horn Day" (time to flaunt every frigging diploma/award you’ve got – like “Best Kisser inrepparttar 136231 World”, “First Class Stud” or “Grade 2 Grad”)

7. "Party Pooper Appreciation Day" (time to suggest that allrepparttar 136232 wet-blanket wunderkinds you know visit a God-forsaken place like Zap, North Dakota)

8. "Of Course I Love You Day" (time to honor Momma Bears, or more torepparttar 136233 point,repparttar 136234 wonder-women who have brought all those bundles of joy intorepparttar 136235 world -- a little more flower-power if you please!)

9. "Broccoli & Brussel Sprout Appreciation Day" (for those who haven’t got a clue what frigging finger-foods are or how to make a heart-healthy veggie burger)

10. "One-Eyed-One-Horned-Flying-Purple-People-Eater Day" (time to discover what doesn’t hang out in a petting zoo, inhabit a fish tank, or live on Mars)

11. "National Nosey-Parker Day" (in recognition of allrepparttar 136236 interlopers, meddlers and busybodies you know who couldn’t survive without a piece of juicy gossip)

12. "Pluto Appreciation Day" (let “nonsense” be your guide; just ask everyone you meet today what attractions they would suggest you see when you visit your favorite planet in our solar system next week)

13. "Hand-Made Gift Appreciation Day" (use your fingers, toes, or if nothing else your wee noodle to dream up something to impress a funky friend)

Cont'd on page 2 ==> © 2005
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